there is no ready-made formula for success on an international dating site. Every dating story and love story is unique. Every woman, like every man, is individual. This means that each of us has a unique set of personal characteristics, desires and perceptions, has his own established image of the “ideal partner” and relationships. And therefore he adheres to his own “strategy” of searching and has his own reasons for not writing first or choosing certain photos. Someone is shy or does not want to seem pushy. There can be many reasons.
The success of online dating depends on a combination of many factors. Below we list the general conditions that can affect the success of online dating.
Guided by our experience in the sphere of international dating we singled out the following six factors: well-matched photos; detailed questionnaire on the dating site; knowledge of foreign languages; interesting and regular communication with a person of your choice; activity on the dating site; adequate assessment of your own desires and possibilities. We will dwell on each point in more detail.
Probably, the following recommendations will seem insignificant to you. But think about it, for just as the ocean is born of many drops, life itself is made up of little things.
1. Well-chosen photographs. Quality and spectacular photos play an important role when dating is not in real life, but through a dating site. The main picture of the profile is the image that will attract and fall in love with a man.
When a man decides to look for a life partner in another country, it means he is ready to overcome the distance. He has weighed the risks and considered his willingness to do things. А A man will want to do things for a woman who fascinates him, who ignites a spark of interest in him. Long-distance relationships and dating women from other countries involve financial costs and risks, emotions, hopes, and, sometimes, disappointments. So when a man decides to find a woman from another country he wants to meet his ideal, his wonderful and unique woman. And foreigners can get acquainted with ungroomed and sullen lady quite successfully in their homeland…
Foreigners are attracted to femininity! We tell you more about how to choose the right photos for an international dating site in the article titled “Dating foreigners: how to choose the right photo?”.
2. Completed questionnaire. Dating for a serious relationship implies openness and honesty. A questionnaire with absolutely no information does not attract the attention of serious men. It’s more likely to give the impression that a girl came to the site by chance and may not even be ready to meet a man from another country – she hasn’t weighed up the pros and cons.
Before a man decides to write to a woman he likes he should know some information about her: whom she wants to meet; what is her level of education; does she accept having children with her future partner – to weigh his chances for success and not to waste his and her time. For example, facts such as whether the future partner has children or the age range of the “ideal partner” can play an important role in the decision. If this information is not available, it is likely that the man will simply close the questionnaire and write to the woman who took the time to provide information about herself.
Another important aspect is that communication is easier to start if there is a starting point. For example, a man reads your profile and finds that you have common interests or he is attracted by your little “About Me” text. Sometimes, the most insignificant detail, in your opinion, can serve as a reason to start an interesting and promising acquaintance. For this reason, it’s still worth taking the time to fill out your profile 😉
3. The chances of successfully meeting a foreigner increase considerably if you speak English or German. By registering on a dating site with foreigners, you consciously make a decision to meet a man from abroad, not a man from your native country. This means you do not have to speak your own language – a foreigner is unlikely to know or want to learn it. In most cases men from foreign countries are satisfied with their country and its conditions. Therefore, foreigners are unlikely to want to change their place of residence and learn Russian. It is up to the woman to do it 😉 If you didn’t decide which country you would like to marry, your English speaking skills are very useful for meeting men from different countries!
If you don’t have foreign language skills, you have to use interpreter programs! It is necessary to show the man that you are not afraid of the language barrier and you can easily start learning a new language. After all If you allow the language problem to become a real obstacle in communication, then there will be no future and real prospects for relationships and dating foreigners in general.
Often when we use interpreter programs, we get machine translation, which is not entirely understandable. So if you receive a message in a foreign language and translate it yourself, think about the translation you receive and try to understand the meaning. Don’t immediately give up if you don’t understand the meaning of the letter. Ask the interlocutor to restate his thoughts, or translate individual words or sentences. Do not ignore questions or statements that you do not understand, it is better to ask the interlocutor again. The man should not feel that you are deliberately ignoring certain topics or questions. Even if it’s not on purpose, it’s due to an unfortunate translation.
To learn how to write letters yourself that will be understandably translated by an electronic translator, read our article “Funny Translation Errors You Can Easily Avoid.”
4. Regular email exchanges, timely responses, and interesting communication.
Let’s focus on each item individually.
In order to make a decision to meet, a man and a woman need to get to know each other. Since we are talking about dating foreigners, a personal meeting, firstly, is not easy to organize (you cannot meet a German you like in a cafe after work), and secondly, it requires certain efforts and is associated with risks. This means that in order to make a decision to go to Eastern Europe, a man will not be enough just to read the facts from the biography of a woman and meet once on Skype.
Regular communication that builds trust between people is required. It is important, in correspondence with a man, not to “disappear” for a long time, that is, not to delay an answer to his letter for several days or more without explaining the reason for the silence. If a woman answers her letters once a week or is silent for months – this speaks for itself, namely: she has no interest, she communicates with different men, and when one of the suitors did not meet expectations, she recalls another suitor, who remained unanswered. Such a manner of communication, correspondence with men foreigners will not lead to success. Men understand very well when a woman has no interest.
The longer a man waits for an answer (especially to the first message!!!), the more likely it is that the acquaintance will end there.
It is necessary to remember that acquaintance with a foreigner takes place online, and that is why there are different laws here than in real life. If in real life, on the first date, you know perfectly well how to charm a man, then on the Internet these techniques of seduction do not work.
The first stage of acquaintance, namely communication and exchange of letters, should be interesting and bring both of you positive emotions. Communication with a man should not be reduced to an exchange of standard information concerning the biography of both parties. What then to talk about with a man who lives in another country? About everything! Tell what you are interested in, where you work, describe how your weekdays and weekends go, talk about important events in your life that may have made you change your perspective on many things and why you think it happened. There are a myriad of topics to talk about! Just sometimes. You need to think about the letter., show a little ingenuity, and perhaps open yourself up to your interlocutor. The main thing is to avoid negative topics and complaints. You want to meet a foreigner to develop a relationship, not find a shoulder to cry on. Do not focus on the failures in previous relationships. Feelings of pity and negative emotions do not create sympathy, do not ignite feelings. The past should be left behind and open yourself up to new acquaintances and new relationships.
Don’t be afraid to seem overly intrusive by being quick to respond to messages and ask questions, or to show your interest in a man. In order to make it easier to continue communicating and develop a dialogue, answer questions openly, not just “yes” or “no,” but try to explain why you think so, why you like or dislike something, why you prefer to spend your free time that way… Exactly free expression of your own thoughts is what makes communication interesting and memorable.
Remember, the man may also feel shy or uncomfortable at the beginning of the conversation. If you ask questions and openly answer the questions he asks, he will gradually feel comfortable talking to you.
Below we give you two examples of a letter – a response to a man’s first message. You will understand yourself which one of the letters disposes to continue communication, and which one is difficult to come up with a suitable answer to.
Michael was interested in Olga’s profile and decided to write to her.
“Hello Olga, I was interested in your profile and would like to get to know you better. What brought you to the dating site? What kind of relationship are you looking for? I would be glad to keep in touch and learn more about you. Michael.”
“Hi. Nice to meet you. Looking for a serious relationship. Tell me about yourself. And what do you want to know about me?”
“Hello, Michael! I’m glad to hear from you and would love to meet you. I would like to meet my one and only man, with whom we can have a future together. What do you think about it? What kind of woman would you like to meet? I have many hobbies. In my free time I like to read. I often spend cozy evenings at home with a book 🙂 But at the same time I like outdoor activities. In winter I even go skiing 🙂 I like to create a comfort in my house, to take care of my close people … I am not going to bore you and write in the first message about everything! 🙂 I have some questions for you. Why did you decide to meet a woman from another country? If this is too personal a question, don’t answer it… What do you value in people and what are your goals in life? I have a stable job (I work as an accountant in a car sales company) and I can support myself, but I lack love, care and a strong male shoulder in my life. Therefore, at this point in my life, my goal is to find a man to start a family…. A man with whom we will be happy together! I wish you a good day and will be glad to hear from you. Olga.”
5. Activity. We are talking about dating foreigners. Men from another country were raised in a different culture and with different ideas. Accordingly, their reactions and attitudes to many aspects of the relationship between a man and a woman, such as a woman taking the initiative to start dating, will be differentthan that of Slavic men. This must be taken into account. European men are more open to a woman’s initiative in a relationship and respect her right to choose.
What is your search strategy? Do you wait until the man himself “chooses” you or are you ready to write to men first? In the first case, you have to understand that the list of candidates will be much smaller. After all, The men you like may not suspect that you are interested in getting acquainted with them 😉 It happens that a man hesitates to write first because he underestimates his chances of success and thinks that a beautiful woman already has enough suitors.
Express your sympathy to him or send him a message! However, not just “Hi!” or “;-)” but A short but interesting message. You can’t always think of a reply to a “Hello!” or a wink. And it doesn’t say anything about the seriousness of your intentions… If you want a man to respond, think about the message.
Remember the expression. “paper doesn’t blush.”. You’re not standing face to face with a man you like. On the contrary, you have time to think about the message so that it can make a good impression on him.
You don’t have to be shy to write first and show your interest. What do you have to lose? The worst possible outcome is that you get rejected or he just doesn’t say anything. Another possible outcome: You take the initiative and meet an interesting man.
6. A sober (adequate) assessment of your own desires and prospects. In conclusion, we will touch upon a rather delicate matter, namely, the contrast between the desirable and the actual, dream and reality.
Let’s say in advance that life is unpredictable, and if you have a dream (for example, to marry a foreigner), you should strive for it, no matter what. Difficulties and obstacles on our way make us stronger, help us realize our own mistakes and correct them. Every situation and person we encounter in life teaches us a lesson. It is up to us to understand it or to continue in a vicious circle.
It is wrong to think that foreigners in their homeland are deprived of female attention or are not aware of their attractiveness and, therefore, they are ready to take any woman as a wife – as long as she is from Eastern Europe. This is a myth. Educated and wealthy Western men with good looks are well aware of their attractiveness and, therefore, have their own image of the kind of woman they would like to be with. Often that image includes being well-groomed, having a good conversation partner, having a college degree, and knowing a foreign language. A separate issue is men’s ideas about the age of their “ideal” partner and whether she has children.
Dating sites with foreigners are not miracle factories. As callous as it may sound, but No one but you, or instead of you, can charm a man. You have to understand that, accept it, and work on your own happiness!
Analyze your profile and the way you communicate with men. Perhaps you should add new photos; reconsider the image of the “ideal partner”; start writing first to the men you like, or try to be more open and perhaps a little persistent in your correspondence.