Online Dating: Where Does The Misunderstanding Come From And Why Do Men Disappear?

It can be difficult for men and women to understand each other, especially if they grew up and were raised in different countries and cultures. It is no secret that the way European men talk and get to know each other can be confusing to an Eastern European woman. Europeans are similarly confused. After all, what for Russian women may seem obvious in the relationship between a man and a woman can lead a European man into a dead end.

European men and Eastern European women are accustomed to a somewhat different image of a partner in a relationship than the actual pattern of behavior of the opposite sex that they encounter when they meet on an international dating site.

The Russian woman is accustomed to the way of acting and the model of a relationship with a Russian man. Europeans, in turn, are accustomed to the stereotype of European women’s behavior. European women are confident in themselves and often take, if not an active, then an equal role to the man in the relationship. They do not communicate with their partner with hints or “riddles”, but can directly and freely express their opinion, their position. Relying (though often subconsciously) on this model of women’s behavior, European men find it difficult to understand the Russian woman, who surrounds herself with an aura of mystery, unapproachability and expects from men active actions under the motto “come, see, win”.

Often European suitors are repulsed by the emphasized coldness of Russian women in correspondence, their short and one-word answers, the ostensible absence of interest in the interlocutor. Women from Eastern Europe are used to talking to men “in riddles”, “hints” and expecting a man to understand their unspoken desires, to feel unexpressed sympathy and to take the initiative in his own hands. However, Europeans think differently. European men believe / are used to the fact that a woman can speak directly about her desires and express her interest.

“Hints” and ambiguities – Europeans do not always understand, and short answers to letters without the slightest hint of a question or interest in a man’s life – they interpret negatively, as disinterestedness of a lady in further acquaintance. As a rule, women themselves do not suspect this, because they are focused on a passive role and expect initiative from a man.

In addition to the problems voiced, there are other factors that affect a woman’s manner of communication:

1. Feelings of awkwardness and shyness when meeting a man in a new environment, on an international dating site;

2. awkwardness because of the language barrier;

3. The woman doesn’t want to seem intrusive and therefore avoids asking the man questions;

4. A woman wants a man to pursue her.

Unfortunately, in the context of online communication, this behavior remains incomprehensible to men, and even more so to European men, who believe that Russian women are open to communication And are expected to show warmth of heart.

Men in Europe are not familiar with such stereotypes as “a man should write first,” “a man should guess a lady’s mood and desires with half a word. The logical reaction of a man to an aloof treatment from a lady is that she is not interested in getting to know me, in a relationship with me. A European man will not “interrogate” a woman he likes in order to find out about her life and interests, but will rather accept her reluctance to get acquainted with him and say goodbye.

At the dating stage you need to understand and accept the obvious fact that foreigners, these are men brought up in a different culture, with different values. You need time and experience with them to understand their nature and to decide for yourself whether men with such a worldview are suitable for me. It is not possible to remake a grown-up man with an established character “for yourself” over time.


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