With the advent of social networks and various messengers (WhatsApp, Viber, etc.) the way people communicate has changed. We have exchanged short and impersonal messages that are more like theses and fragments of thoughts. Often, spelling and punctuation suffer, because our goal is to respond as quickly as possible and switch to the next “task”.
This manner of “behavior” and communication with other people on the Internet, we transfer also to online dating, to dating foreign men, where there are already many difficulties (for example, language barrier, lack of understanding of the mentality of a foreign man). Where, as a rule, one wants to make a good impression and be liked, standard phrases, spelling mistakes, unfinished thoughts and impersonal address appear.
When communicating on the Internet informally, we often forget the elementary rules of politeness: we forget to say hello and goodbye, not to mention thanking our interlocutor or wishing him a good day. But politeness and good manners are important when we want to make a good impression on an interesting man.
Writing and writing culture play an important role in the lives of modern Germans. There are norms of formal and informal writing (for example, a letter to a friend) which exist not just as rules, but are actually observed by well-mannered and educated people. A few examples from everyday life. Job search: the way a letter to a potential employer is drafted determines whether or not the interview will take place. Admission to higher education: when submitting documents, the applicant encloses a letter in which he tells what prompted him to choose a particular specialty, about his motivation. The content and literacy of such a letter play an important role in the decision to grant the applicant an educational place. Other examples are business correspondence with clients and partners and letters to government departments. A personal example: Many Germans, when they are on vacation, send their family and friends postcards by mail, not with a standard printed text, but with personally written wishes and vacation greetings.
The fact that writing, writing culture and the ability to write letters are important in modern Germany is shown by the written part of the B1 level German exam: one official letter (e.g. to sign up for some courses or to ask a landlord) and one personal letter (e.g. a letter to a friend) must be composed.
Returning to the topic of international dating, it is important to note that the way letters are composed and the manner of communication of the interlocutor speaks about the level of his/her education, upbringing, and the level of spiritual development. By the way, your communication style also reflects your interest in getting to know each other. Detailed, interesting letters, polite addressing to the interlocutor show interest in the new acquaintance and desire to continue communication. Short messages – on the contrary, give the feeling that acquaintance brings boredom and there is no interest in continuing.
To give you a better idea of what is meant by communication style and writing culture, here are two simple examples.
Possible responses to a man’s first message.
“hi. i’m divorced, i have two kids. looking for a serious relationship.”
“Hello, Marcus! Thank you for your letter! I would like to tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Natalia and I have been divorced for 2 years. I have two wonderful children. I would like to meet a man for a serious relationship. I would be happy to hear from you and I wish you a good day!”
For a well-mannered and educated German, the education and upbringing of his chosen woman will be important. As noted above, this is reflected in the manner of communication, in letters. You can make a good impression on a German, or any other well-bred and educated man, by following the culture of writing. This means to formulate your thoughts and questions in full sentences, not to forget to say hello, to write the name of the man in the letter, to thank him (for the compliment, for the letter), to say goodbye politely, to wish him a good day.