Author Maria Sh.
I would like to share my experience of communicating on an international dating site. Now that the results are in, and I’m getting the next new wave of life events in Germany, I want to reflect on my experience, analyzing the strategy and tactics of communication, mistakes of perception, difficulties in creating an image and understanding the mentality of Western European men, to help you understand the processes, in yourself, in your goals and the means of achieving them.
When I decided to use the services of an international dating site, I turned to ladies I knew who had successfully communicated on the site and had also successfully married. By that time they were already living abroad, occasionally visiting relatives in Russia.
I was interested in their tactics, experience and knowledge of communication. My interest extended to everything – how to register correctly, I mean, how to attract attention to myself, which photos impress men more, and which photos are better to avoid, because the choice of photos also determines which men’s interest (their intentions) they attract. I was not interested in just chatting on the Internet, I was looking for a meeting with a man, my future husband.
I understood that the level of competition was high. I didn’t want to reinvent the wheel, but to get sensible and effective instructions, knowledge and experience firsthand, from women who had come to the desired result by trial and error.
What was my amazement when none of my good acquaintances answered my questions. Only isolated vague phrases and remarks, no specifics. From this I came to the conclusion that personal experience and tactics of successful communication on an international dating site are not shared. Probably everyone had their own reasons for doing so.
I will try to reduce my experience to a kind of standard pattern of behavior, to which everyone can and should bring his or her own uniqueness.
I want to draw your attention that the international dating site fernliebe has very interesting and detailed instructions on how to register, what photos to post, what to pay attention to and more. You will get very important information and support from the site. The staff of the site thoroughly tried for you, the articles presented are of particular value. Thank you to the staff who writes these articles. You need to take advantage of this information and form a general idea of the effectiveness of communication on the site.
Today I would like to offer you a “feedback tactic. This tactic involves an active search. Your conscious actions + analysis of the feedback (men’s reactions). The feedback tactic focuses you on the result, promotes a flexible response to communication. The reaction interval, the period during which you study men’s reactions to your actions before correcting them is 1-3 months.
Ideally, you have read and assimilated a block of information on the fernliebe website – you have registered, posted pictures, written information about yourself (it is important to emphasize your individuality, your peculiarity). Remember, you have to draw attention to yourself. My advice is also to write a standard letter about yourself, your preferences, to give maximum attention to this letter, add humor to your narrative. The letter should shine with your sincerity, warmth, create your one and only image. The content of this standard letter should be worked on so that not only your photos, but this letter causes a desire to get to know you. Make an effort, write it in German. You have no idea how nice it is to receive a letter in your native language – it alone is a prerequisite for being attracted to you, a source of interest and trust.
In active search mode, you send this letter to all the men who are interested in you, of course, while addressing each by name, making appropriate changes in the letter.
Next, you analyze the response from men. If you are not satisfied with the response, you need to react flexibly – change the main photo and additional photos too, write something new about yourself in the application form, make corrections to the standard letter. To be in the process, to act, not to sit idly by, but to pursue your goal.
I have touched upon only a small part of the iceberg in the sea of information, knowledge of which is necessary for an informed and successful journey in the ocean of dating. You can put this information into practice, or you can go your own way. Thank you for your attention!