On the pages of our blog we have repeatedly written about the fact that to understand whether you could really decide to marry a foreigner and go to live in another country (not just dreaming about it and not taking steps to realize the goal, but really considering your goal and the way to achieve it), you can only learn the mentality of men from that country and know the daily life in that country. For example, if your goal is to marry a German and move to Germany, you need not only to learn German (and only through communication and understanding, in the literal sense of the word, which gives a common language, you can understand the German mentality, his way of thinking), but also learn more about everyday life in Germany (for example, live a few months in this country to understand whether you’re ready to live there permanently).
Today we would like to tell you about three simple rules, which, in our opinion, not only help you to avoid unjustified expectations from foreign suitors and the disappointment connected with it, but also make it easier for you to understand the mentality of foreign men. In advance, below we will talk not about how to draw a conclusion in favor of the mentality of the inhabitants of Eastern or Western Europe (this conclusion that every woman can make only herself and only personally for herself), but how to understand the essence of the mentality of men from another country: for example, their view on the relationship between a man and a woman, and the distribution of roles, the source of initiative and decision-making in the family.
Three simple rules to help you better understand the mentality of a foreigner
- Refrain from making comparisons. It is worth refraining from comparing or clearly understand with whom you are comparing your new foreign acquaintance: with real men from your life or with a desired pattern of behavior of the stronger sex. Having no experience of relations with a foreigner, most women assess foreign suitors on the basis of their experience of relations with Slavic men and expectations of certain behavior (typical for a Slavic man or for an “ideal man” whose image they created in their imagination). In such a situation, as a rule, native and habitual is always the right one, which means that the behavior of “ideal Slavic man” is expected from foreign suitors. It means that women compare the ideal image of a man, the image of a man they would like to meet with real men. Reality, as a rule, yields to imagination and disappointment arises. We ask you to accept a simple truth: A German, an Austrian or a Swiss man should not in principle behave like a Slavic man, because he was not only raised in a different cultural environment, but he was also raised in a different social, political and economic reality. That is why we are writing about, to understand whether marriage with a European suits you, whether you can be happy with a European husband, you first need to know the mentality of Europeans and learn more about their everyday life. Constantly comparing Slavs and Europeans will make it difficult for you to understand the main features of European mentality. If you still need a comparison, but you have not yet had the experience of a relationship with a foreigner, compare your real life experience with a man from your country, living together, getting married and raising children, with the information you receive from a foreign beau. Do not compare the ideal of a man you imagine, which you have not yet met in reality, with a real man.
- Give up stereotypes and prejudices. Try to learn to perceive a foreign man “with a clean slate”, without prejudice and dictated social stereotypes “system of values and values. Do not evaluate a foreign man based on stereotypes of behavior accepted in Eastern European society. They do not work abroad and they are simply unknown to foreigners! If you judge a man’s words and actions in terms of your mentality (biased), you will not be able to understand the man’s mentality. Only non-biased judgments, will help you see his essence, understand what his mentality is and what is the influence of the cultural environment on him. And that’s what you need to know if you could start a family with a foreigner.
- Be guided by universal notions of right and wrong, appropriate and inappropriate behavior.
Every country has its own particular standard of behavior, but the fundamental concepts of “good” and “evil,” “good” and “bad” are common to all the world’s cultures; they are not subject to cultural norms – they are international concepts. Two simple examples so you can get the gist of this opposition. A man is not bad if he doesn’t give you flowers when you expect him to, or doesn’t behave according to the expectations placed on a man in the former Soviet Union, for example. He is a foreigner, he is different and is not obliged to behave according to the unspoken rules of courtship accepted in another country. However, a man has no right to raise his hand against a woman or a child and has no right to restrict their freedom. In the behavior of your new foreign acquaintance try to see his essence, instead of “beautiful gestures” or words that can “mask” it.