In most of our blog articles, we encourage you to treat dating a foreigner consciously, deliberately. What do we mean by “dating foreigners consciously”? This means that you have a goal (to find a man who lives in a Western European country to start a family) and all of the actions you take to achieve it, you do consciously / deliberately, hoping for a certain result. This implies that you do not think that the most important step in finding a foreign husband is to create a profile on a dating site with foreigners and that this step is naturally followed by passivity and waiting for “something” (maybe a chance to win a foreign husband in the “lottery”?!). On the contrary, you have your own thought-out “plan of action”. For instance, you know exactly what you want, what kind of relationship, what kind of man, when you respond to a man’s e-mail (what part of your day is spent on that), what tools you choose (are there video chat apps on your smartphone or computer), what photos you upload in your profile (and what impression they should have on men), what language you use, how you see your first meeting and the development of your relationship with a man from another country, what are the limits of compromise in your relationships with foreign men? Here are a few examples.
- When you register your profile on an international dating site and choose photos for it, you pursue a certain goal: the profile and, above all, your photos in it should please as many men as possible and they should want to write to you (so that you have a choice of a reasonable number of suitors). That is why we strongly suggest you, not to upload just any photo on your profile, but to add photos to your profile and understand what impression they make on men. Do they like the woman in the photo? Who will men see in a photo? Cheerful, active, well-groomed woman leading a healthy lifestyle and a smile that disposes to dating? Or a gloomy woman with bad habits (which she shows in the photos), unhealthy appearance and lots of problems (which make her look sad to the photographer’s camera). A man will prefer to write to the first woman, but he won’t write to the second. Your profile pictures should attract men, not repel them. When choosing photos for your profile on an international dating site treat your photos with detachment as if you view photos of another woman you don’t know and see her strengths and weaknesses perfectly.
- Going to your goal, you yourself choose the right man for you. This implies that you can feel free to be the first to write to a man you are interested in. You do not wait for them to pick you and by a happy coincidence, one of them will turn out to be the one, the only and suitable for you. Stereotypical behavior in Eastern Europe is a poor excuse for your own reluctance to act. Prejudices and conventions such as who should contact whom first will only get in the way of your goals. An international dating site is a kind of international space where people from different cultures meet. Stereotypes in one country may be unfamiliar and incomprehensible to someone from another country. In other words, one should not expect or demand from a European the model of behavior that is typical for a Slavic man.
- Sending a message to a man, you naturally want him to respond to you. And to do this a man must understand your letter and it must make a good impression on him. For this reason, to send a letter is, first of all, in the language a man knows. If you do not speak any foreign languages, then it is better to compose a message that will be most accurately translated by a translator program. Secondly, the content of the letter (together with the profile and photos) should arouse a man’s interest and desire to respond and get to know you.
- In your correspondence with a woman, you want to learn more about her, to understand if continuation of the relationship is possible, or if you are not satisfied with some aspect of her profile. To do so, ask lots of questions, not just give short, one-sided answers and wait for her to get back to you. Otherwise, you’re just wasting your time with meaningless, aimless communication. Communicating at a distance, a man can’t always understand if a woman is interested in getting to know him. The impression of coldness and disinterest arising from the peculiarities of Slavic women’s mentality (we wrote more about this in the article “Dating foreigners: where does the misunderstanding come from and why do the suitors disappear?”) is only strengthened by silence and one-word answers.
Communicate with men consciously!
In conclusion we would like to repeat once again the “idea” of this article. Lovely ladies, communicate with men consciously! Do not waste your precious time on “sitting online” waiting for the first letter, and write the first man you like. Don’t change to empty “Hello! How are you?”, and ask them questions that interest you, get to know men, communicate with them intensely and productively. This is the only way you will be able to understand if this or that gentleman suits you and bring your first meeting closer. And if the acquaintance does not lead to a relationship, do not complain about the wasted effort, because you will have the experience to apply in dealing with another man, on the way to finding his happiness!