Today we are going to publish three questions from our subscribers that were posed to our support staff regarding the specifics of a foreigner coming to town to meet a lady and a private, return trip for a lady to Austria.
Learning the right lessons from other people’s experiences
In our blog articles we try to give a general view on dating other people and give general advice on planning the first meeting. Often we rely on the experience of our users, on the obvious mistakes and lack of understanding or desire to understand the other person, his position in life and mentality, our own role in what is happening, which we observe in the course of our work. However, it is impossible to foresee and describe all life situations that can occur on the way of acquaintance and relationship with a foreign man. That is why today we are happy to share with you interesting and useful questions related to practical, life situations that interest us.
Dating and relationship with a foreigner is first of all a practice of real meetings. Together with you and thanks to you, we learn by learning more about you, your observations and experiences, and unique life situations. The following questions, in our opinion, are a good reflection of those life situations which, when preparing for a meeting with a foreigner or a trip to a foreigner, you should think about and foresee.
Arrival of a foreigner and visit to a restaurant
“A foreigner expressed his desire to come to my city, to get acquainted in reality. I asked him what his plans were for those days. He said that I had to be around all the time. After the walks there were daily visits to restaurants! How do I politely ask him, figuratively speaking “whose banquet is on me”, “will you pay for two”? I don’t mind keeping him company, but with a regular salary in a provincial town, visiting restaurants is not in my budget.
Please advise how not to offend a foreigner and not to slap a face. Not all foreigners understand our reality. Of course, if you spend all your days with him, you’ll have to eat somewhere… Going home to eat? Tell me what to do in this situation, you have more experience with foreigners.
Tell the man frankly about your worries and let him know about your financial situation. Be tactful and polite.
You are happy that he is coming and you wonder about the practicalities of his stay in your city: the issue of food (since he mentions going to restaurants every day). You are concerned about the fact that your financial situation does not allow you to eat in restaurants. One evening or day, you would be happy to invite him to a home-cooked dinner or lunch.
This way you let him/her know that you can’t afford to go to restaurants every day, you don’t have to ask him/her directly to pay the restaurant bill and you show your participation (in the form of an invitation to a home dinner/dinner).
“…since I’m coming to my first meeting for a week, you’re going to live and sleep in my room…”
“A man wants to come and he says the following: “I am not coming to you for sex, it is cheaper for me to have sex in my country and not to spend money on planes and hotels. But since I am coming to the first meeting for a week, you will live and sleep with me in the room”.
Help with advice, please.
I’m not ready to sleep with a man on the first day. I’m not ready to sleep with him in a week, I’m seeing him for the first time in my life. A virtual connection is nice, but maybe in real life the man is different. I need trust. I need to meet him, talk to him, get to know his character, interests, views on life. I honestly said I’m not ready to sleep with him the first time I meet him. He said: “I want to make sure we’re right for each other.” And for me it is more important to match up in character.
I do not know the foreign mentality, I do not want to look like a prostitute, and in the first meeting it is more important for me to understand the man. Please tell me if you have more experience with foreigners.
Don’t rush into an intimate relationship with a man. It is up to you, not just him, to find out if you are right for each other. Explain it to him. Tactfully and politely.
Differences in mentality don’t play a role in these situations. It’s important to be able to talk openly to a man about your own thoughts, desires and fears.
You wrote: “I’m not coming to you for sex, it’s cheaper to have sex in my country than to spend money on planes and hotels. That’s a pretty logical and fair argument. A trip to Eastern Europe, to a woman a man only knows through correspondence, cannot be compared to a trip to a resort. However, and this you should explain to him, you should not make a plan of necessary “actions” prematurely. You do not feel comfortable when he puts you in front of this kind of choice.
You should honestly tell the man that you are not ready to make any promises, much less get into an intimate relationship with him at the first meeting. Your upbringing and values don’t allow you to. If a week’s trip for a first meeting is too long for him, you could shorten his stays. If a week is too long to get him out of town for a first meeting you can shorten his length of stay. This is a person you like, but what if it’s just a fantasy born of a desire to love, a desire to meet someone worthy? The first meeting is the first date. Despite the correspondence, you meet the person “anew,” you meet a stranger. What if he does not like you either? What if the room is booked for two? You’re not ready and won’t plan an intimate relationship in advance. A relationship should be developed gradually. You need to get to know him better and develop trust with him. Tell him about the mentality, manners and upbringing in Eastern European countries.
A private trip to Austria
“In correspondence with a foreigner, a conversation came up that after my first meeting in my city, I would come to his city by private invitation.
Can you tell me if I am safe when I go to Austria by private invitation? As I arrived, so I will leave, the Alien Police directly monitors everyone on a private invitation to return home? Or not?
Can you tell me what to do in this situation? Very much need your correct advice, I am not looking for princes and adventures.”
These are the right questions to ask. However, don’t you think you should think about visiting the man after the first meeting in your hometown, when you are sure that you want to continue the relationship with him?
When coming to Russia, a foreigner has no guarantee of security from the local police and depends literally on your integrity. If you do not trust the person you are communicating with and the first meeting does not convince you otherwise, you should probably stop communicating, break off the relationship. Without trust, it’s impossible to build a long-distance relationship, to move to another country to a man.
You can ask questions concerning the actions of the Austrian police and security guarantees of your stay on the territory of the Republic of Austria through the websites of the diplomatic mission of the Republic of Austria on the territory of the Russian Federation and the Embassy of the Russian Federation in the Republic of Austria.
If you decide to make a private visit to the man, leave your relatives a copy of his passport, his address and the address of your actual stay during the trip, a copy of your air tickets and visa, contacts of the Embassy of the Russian Federation in the Republic of Austria, where they can contact if they lose contact with you.