For what purpose did you register on an international dating site? The answer usually sounds like this: to find a life partner, to find a serious relationship, to give a chance for a new relationship in a new life space. In reality it happens that not everyone is ready to realize this goal. This applies to both women and men. In this case this goal is interpreted depending on the psychological peculiarities of an individual personality and the degree of readiness to do deeds, the desire to steadily go the way of achieving one’s goal. (Join Adult Dating – MeetKing)
Typical communication patterns on a dating site
There are some typical patterns of communication that indicate that you are simply wasting the time of your life with the wrong people. People who have their own goals and their own understanding of communication and comfort.
- You have met a man and are communicating with him in letters. Communication can be very pleasant and rich and it can go on and on and on… You exchange photos, opinions, talk about your past. This communication does not involve the issue of actually meeting. It is clear that nowadays, when the borders are closed because of the virus, the question of a real meeting is irrelevant. We are now presenting a certain model of communication, which is not affected by today’s difficulties. In this model, an actual meeting is not discussed or suggested, and, in general, it is not planned. You are offered communication in letters – words, words, words… You are communicating with a person who has a different goal. His goal is virtual communication. In this way, he realizes his need to communicate, to spend his time. Pleasant conversations, compliments, stories about yourself, fantasies, collecting your photos. He is satisfied with everything, he does not intend to do anything for you. The likelihood that after a year of communication, he will be ready to commit them is zero. You may even be given irrefutable arguments why you can’t meet in the next six months….
- Advice: cut back or stop such communication. Such communication is a path to nowhere and with no one. You gave the person a chance. Don’t waste any more of your precious time and energy on the futility of this path. Move on, gratefully accepting the experience.
- You have met and are in contact with a very interesting man. (Also Read: INTERNAL “BARRIERS” TO GETTING TO KNOW A FOREIGNER) You like a lot about him and are happy with his status as a homeowner and his family business. He writes to you that he is looking for a woman with whom he wants to share his life and all the work of the house and his small business (like a carp farm). Literally, he is looking for a woman not only for love, but also for quite a bit of hard physical work. He declares this openly. And you, because of your circumstances, have been deprived of the opportunity to perform hard physical work and have been engaged in mental labor all your life. If you do not decide for yourself to try this path, to test yourself in a new capacity, then you are communicating with a man whose interests do not coincide with yours.
- Tip: A man says openly what he wants. You just need to hear it. If you’re not ready to make that commitment, speak up. He will only be grateful to you. You’ll both save time looking for the right partner. Here are many examples, when the questionnaire or letters indicate certain conditions, you must accept these conditions or refuse to communicate, of course, telling the man the reason for refusal. The saying “get used to it, get used to it” does not work. For example, if the man wants to have a child together, this is also his vision of the relationship, his desire, which cannot be ignored.
- One of the signs of inexperienced behavior of women on an international dating site is, after the registration procedure, passive waiting for men to show interest in their person. Such behavior is also typical for lazy women who are not ready to take the initiative and hope for a chance of dating without effort on their part.
- Tip: It takes an active search to get to your goal. Write to men first. In doing so, you exercise your right to choose – you read the profiles, you look at the photos and you decide (at first stage) if you want to communicate with this man. You need to communicate with many men, talk openly and confidentially about yourself, ask questions, read the answers carefully. Gather information to understand what you have in common, what common ground there is for productive communication and relationship development.
- You are communicating with the man intensively and with great interest on Skype or other messengers. You have been communicating for two to three weeks, it’s time to ask about the possibility of a real meeting. Ask him when and how he envisions it.
- Tip: Pay attention to his reaction, how he took your offer. Discuss with him when it might happen, how he sees your meeting. Start planning it together by discussing options. If the man isn’t ready to meet, that too can be a sign that you’re wasting your time. The exception, of course, is the coronavirus situation.
- When communicating with a man, the topic of previous relationships, the topic of resentment against his ex-wife, often comes up. If a man told you when you met him that he failed in a personal relationship and broke up, that he wants to meet a new relationship and start a new life, this is normal. But, if he comes back to this topic constantly, telling you the details of life with his former wife, it’s a sign of the incompleteness of the previous relationship.
Tip: The man is not ready for a new relationship. His psyche is not ready. He is still in the old relationship and has to process it. There is no room in his heart for new feelings yet. You have the right to decide if you want to communicate with him or if it is better to give your time to another man who is ready for a relationship, for a meeting, for a new life.
In conclusion, we would like to emphasize that if you have a goal, you develop your strategy to achieve it, communication tactics, ways to understand and accept the communication process, you analyze the aspects of “feedback”, you monitor the reaction of men and, accordingly, you make adjustments in your way of dating foreigners. Leading an active search of a partner, you are developing yourself, learning the psychology of the person, the nuances of mentality of the Western European men, the language of communication, you form your own unique image, positive and open to communication, learning yourself and the world around you, you are on the right way to your goal – to find a happy relationship with a foreigner!