…you don’t have the inner happiness that allows you to be happy regardless of external circumstances, the presence or absence of material possessions, or the man in your life.
“Most people are only as happy as they choose to be happy.”Abraham Lincoln
This article was inspired by the book “The Art of Being Happy. A Guide for Living” written by the Dalai Lama XIV (Tenzin Gyatso) and psychiatrist Howard Cutler. The ideas below have been drawn from what we believe to be a very useful work.
The idea of this article is very simple: happiness does not depend on external circumstances, but comes from within a person, depends on his attitude to life, to events, to himself and to other people.
Happiness is multifaceted, it can have many aspects: material (financial well-being), social (social circle), physical (health) and spiritual factors that influence one’s life satisfaction, whether you can call yourself a happy person. The most important component of happiness is a spiritual life. If you can be happy spiritually, carry happiness within you, nothing can take that happiness away from you. You will always be happy, regardless of life events and circumstances, lack or availability of money, or men. As trite as it may sound, you just have to learn to be happy with the little things around you.
In the context of dating with foreigners and finding a man for a relationship, we would like to point out that you should look for a man and a relationship with him not to solve life problems, but for the relationship itself, in order to realize yourself in a relationship with a man and find another facet of happiness – a full relationship, love, mutual understanding, support of your loved one and family. A man will not be able to make you happy if you are not capable of being happy due to the negative direction of your thoughts.
Happiness from dating, falling in love, getting married and moving to another country will eventually become commonplace. The “wave of happiness” that hits you in the beginning will be replaced by a quiet everydayness, and if you don’t know how to be happy from within (used to a negative way of thinking), the temporary happiness of having a man in your life can be replaced by the same dissatisfaction with life that you may be experiencing now. Yes, you will find a man you love, move to a better country, perhaps your financial situation will improve. However, if you are used to seeing the world in dark colors, then, as time passes, you will continue to struggle with the negative thoughts that will keep you from feeling happy and appreciating what you have gained.
If you can’t feel happy, it’s your own fault. There is nothing stopping you from becoming happy, changing the way you look at the world and finding happiness within yourself! Rich and successful people can be unhappy, and truly happy people can be those who are terminally ill, physically handicapped, unable to lead a full life. Because happiness is within us and depends on how we look at the world, evaluate events and our place in the world.
Just as it is impossible to find self-esteem relying only on the opinion and assessment of your successes by other people, so it is impossible to find happiness from outside. Happiness is within us and each of us can learn to be happy. The book “The Art of Being Happy. A Guide for Life” will help you understand what true happiness is and how to learn to be happy, regardless of life’s circumstances.