Writing a girl a couple or three messages to make her fall in love with you sounds like a dream. It is, in fact, a dream. To fall in love with a girl by correspondence is a complex and large-scale operation that is divided into many tasks. Here it is important to know what to write in the first message to make her like you, and what to tell a pen pal about later. But don’t be intimidated: with the right strategy, this is quite an easy task. If you want to know the strategy, read the article 🙂
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What to write a girl to make her fall in love with you
Many people think that to make her fall in love, you need to write something about yourself – show off in the best way, present from the right side, convince her of your own awesomeness, add a little publicity. That’s not entirely true: there’s no point in pretending to be someone else at first if you plan to develop a relationship. Holding on to a mask for a long time is hard and rather silly. There are general guidelines on how to communicate at first, and I’ll share them. But don’t forget about sincerity and your own comfort. If you’re not right for each other, it’s better to realize it sooner.
To begin with, I suggest you learn what love is, and in order to get a girl to fall in love and sympathy, you need time and adherence to six rules. I will tell you about them in as much detail as possible.
- Be confident in yourself. It is this quality that will help not to be timid, to find a way out of dead-end moments in correspondence, to take it to the next level. If a girl feels your self-confidence, she will feel at ease. She will perceive you as a reliable person and won’t worry too much about your neuroses – that’s exactly what you shouldn’t show right away.
Gaining self-confidence is a long thing. You have to realize your strengths and weaknesses, come to terms with them and add achievements for which you will respect yourself. Fabricate it is also not easy, because it is either felt in all the behavior, or not. Even if you manage to fake it, failure is only a matter of time.
- Add mystery to the image. Don’t talk about everything, answer some questions with “it’s a secret I don’t share,” don’t explain all your motives and actions.
Don’t go overboard with this and don’t turn into a puzzle for the girl to solve – after all, the correspondence and feelings were originally meant for you. Nevertheless, a light veil of mystery and mystery will add interest to your personality.
- Be Positive. That doesn’t mean “don’t talk about problems at all,” just don’t do it all the time and don’t whine. It’s better to make more jokes. Guys with a sense of humor are always sympathetic and easy to relate to.
People love optimists: mentioning your problems is okay as long as you don’t do it all the time and talk about how huge and unsolvable they are. The perfect balance is not to pretend that your life consists of unicorns and rainbows, but also not to make a girl a psychologist you go to talk out of. Try not to complain and keep discussion of negativity to a minimum.
- Be a friend. Friendship is a safe distance to get to know each other and the first step toward love. But keep as a friend, not as a girlfriend – don’t agree to go shopping together, don’t gossip. Show that you’re a man, and don’t drag this stage out too long, lest you fall into the friendzone.
Show male attention: give compliments and gifts, shorten your distance.
- Make her feel special. Making sure she’s the only one getting this kind of attention is very important to a girl, it helps her focus better on the question of who you are to her and how she feels. By showing her value, you will provoke her to gesture back.
- Listen to her. Women’s stories often seem like idle chitchat to men, but if you remember her best friend’s name, where she spends her time, what she’s into, and stop asking her every time, you’ll get results right away. And for sure it will come in handy in the future.
- Tell her why she does it. What you like about her – not only her looks, but also her character traits, her looks, her habits. Convince her that it was not a random choice, and that you made it consciously, not based on three photos on the social network.
- Surprise. Surprise her once every week or two – keep her enthusiasm and the degree of emotion in the relationship. Find out what flowers she likes and send them to her home or work. Fulfill her long-held wish. Help her with something she wasn’t counting on you for. Give her surprises and gifts for no reason – but don’t overdo it, so it doesn’t get boring and become a habit.
- Take the Aron questionnaire together. This is 36 questions that a couple answers together to get closer. It works for both those who are not yet in a relationship and those who are fading away. Ideally, do it sitting across from each other. But you can also bypass this system: ask questions at different moments, building them into the conversation.
Communication rules for guys
To get a girl to like you, you have to win her over. And when the only tool is correspondence, you have to rely mostly on personality and communication skills. Some people can do it on their own, but if you don’t feel strong and experienced enough, I’ll help with the basic rules.
- Be polite. Say hello, say goodbye, inquire about news and well-being, and thank you.
- Inquire. Not just the trivial “what’s new?” question, ask about the girl. About what she likes, her childhood, her plans, her opinions on different things.
- Try to correspond in an original way. Tell how unusual some events look to you. Turn in unexpected questions, praise the non-obvious, make jokes.
- Don’t pester you with questions. If a girl doesn’t answer, she might be busy.
- Observe the rules of spelling and punctuation.
- Don’t talk about everything. You don’t have to retell everything that happens in your life, and you don’t have to demand the same from the girl.
Top phrases to use in correspondence
Among them are both those with which it is convenient to start a correspondence, and those that will come to the place when the contact has already been established. These are not bad tips on what to write to a girl you like in a messenger – for example, in VK.
- Poems. From the Internet and your own writing – the latter will be especially good, although sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.
- Compliments. To show interest in a girl and win her favor. Try not to be vulgar. Start by complimenting her appearance, and as you get to know her, praise the character traits you’ve noticed.
- Romantic twists and turns. It doesn’t have to be about how good you’ll be together, because there’s plenty of romance unrelated to the relationship. It should be something exciting, unusual, beautiful that happens around you.
- “Saw you today. You look great!”
- “How would you react if a guy who makes great coffee decided to meet you?”
- “I’m too modest to formulate the perfect first message. But I’m too eager to meet you to write nothing.”
- “The creator of the Internet deserves a monument: because without it, I wouldn’t have seen your profile or the wonderful photos in it!”
- “We’ve only been corresponding for a few days, and already I feel a kind of kinship of souls.”
- “You’re very easy to talk to-it’s so great!”
- “If so much pleasure can be had from just correspondence with you – I’m afraid to imagine what will happen when we meet!”
What to write to a girl who doesn’t know you
The question of how to start a correspondence seems to be one of the most difficult when starting a conversation with a girl. The important point is to not scare her, to sound confident enough, but harmless. A stranger will only continue communicating if she feels safe and interested. That’s the basis on which you should exercise your creativity. But fortunately, there is a formula for the perfect first message that she will respond to.
Telling you what nice words to start your correspondence with:
- “I can feel the vibe of your charm even through the Internet and I can’t help myself. Let’s get to know each other?”
- “There’s not a single cat, recipe, or vanilla phrase in your profile. I think I’ve met the perfect one. Let’s get acquainted, shall we? :)”
- “I made a bet with friends that I could find the girl of my dreams online and meet her. I did the first part of the plan, but I need your help to win the second part. Shall we get acquainted?”
- “Let’s shame those who are still convinced that online dating is stupid.”
- “You wrote that you like chocolate coffee. There’s no way I can convey the feeling of it over the Internet – can I still treat you to it in real life?”
- “After seeing your account, I definitely can’t think of social media as an evil and a hindrance to real life. Let’s get to know each other and prove that they complement each other perfectly?”
- “I have an important life principle of not getting acquainted on the Internet. But for your sake, I can’t help but break it. You’re amazing!”
- “I don’t know if there are internet gods, but I’m willing to thank them for seeing your profile.”
- “Girl, you blinded me with the beauty of your photos, and now I can’t see anything. I’ll have to pay you back for that and let me meet you and buy you a coffee.”
- “The Internet is a great invention. How else would I have known about you if not for it? I suggest that we celebrate by getting to know each other, over a cup of coffee, for example.
To compose the perfect message, you have to combine three components:
- specific proposal
This is just the right combination to elicit both understanding and a positive reaction from the girl.
What words to write to a girl I know
On the one hand, it’s easier to communicate with a girl you know, because you already know her and you can assume what she likes and how to communicate with her. On the other hand – more difficult, because she has already formed an opinion about you and is guided mainly by it, not by her emotions. You need to think about how to start a conversation with a girl. Knowing your weaknesses, she rejects you as a potential partner in advance. It can be difficult to change this opinion and evoke feelings. The main task in doing so is to express your own intentions and show yourself as a young man, not a mate. And the best tool for this is flirting. It should be easy, unambiguous, but not vulgar.
Here are ten examples:
- “You looked so stunning yesterday that all my catchphrases just slipped my mind.”
- “Too bad you left so early. I didn’t get a chance to look at you.”
- “How about a coffee tomorrow night? I haven’t heard you laugh in a long time, I’ve missed you.”
- “Heard so many good things about your Labrador – can’t wait to meet him!”
- “The pencil skirt you wore the other day opened my eyes to the beauty of your legs.”
- “Without makeup your eyes are even brighter and more expressive-a rare trait!”
- “Ready to talk to you for hours, but work doesn’t wait. Shall we continue tonight?”
- “Your sense of style is great. Can you give me some tips on how to put together a closet?”
- “They say Coffeemania’s has great mochas, but I hear they make the coolest ones. Shall we check it out together?”
- “Don’t you have a couple of mountains to roll? Because you inspire feats, and I need to do something with all that energy.”
Use emoticons and emoji in communication to make correspondence brighter and more expressive, but don’t communicate exclusively with them. Send pictures, gifs, videos, and music so that correspondence is not boring and monotonous and there are more topics for discussion.
What you can’t write.
There are some things that will definitely put a girl off. They would be unpleasant for any man to receive, and they will definitely kill the correspondence. Every girl has her own little points in addition to them, but it’s up to you to find out about them yourself.
I’ll list the general prohibitions, and you don’t fall into their trap.
- Grammatical errors.
- Naughty innuendos
- Obscene language
- Excessive machismo and overconfidence
- Narcissism and complete focus on oneself, lack of attention to the girl
- Too many emoji
- Standard phrases like “hello, how are you?” at the beginning of correspondence
- Constant complaints about problems and life
- Coercive language, pressure.
You know how to fall in love with a pen pal girl and now go to the best dating sites rankings and start pumping up your skills!