What To Write In A First Message To A Man You Like?

When getting to know foreigners on the Internet, many women have faced a problem: What to write about in the first message to a man they like? How to make the first step that will make a good impression on him and possibly become the beginning of a promising acquaintance?

Hi! How are you?

“We are so afraid of being intrusive that we seem indifferent.”

E. M. Remarque

The most common and, in our opinion, extremely unfortunate variant of the first message are: “Hi”, “Hello”, “Hello. How are you?” and all possible variations of “Hello! How are you?” in Russian or German… What is the problem with such messages? They’re very impersonal. The first letter of this kind can give the impression of indifference. It’s the way people meet in bars, discos or Hollywood movies. No doubt it is an easy way to start a relaxed conversation. However, the validity of this method is only in real life, when you are in close proximity to each other. In online dating, it’s just a couple of words that say nothing: neither about you and your personality, nor about the purpose of dating, nor about your interest in meeting the man or that you actually paid attention to him and read his profile, rather than sending out “Hi. How are you?” to dozens of foreigners.

What to write about to a foreigner you like in the first message?
It is quite natural that an interesting and individual first message does not immediately come to mind. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that! The first letter should be thought over, take time and perhaps fantasize a little.

We’ll offer you some ideas for the first message. Perhaps they may give you ideas or help you find a “direction” for your first letter. We ask you to be sensitive to the fact that every woman is different, so it’s impossible to create a “complete manual” on what to write to a man you like in the first letter

  • Don’t forget that the first letter is just the first step to getting to know someone. No one will judge your courage and creativity. We are often the toughest judges of ourselves. You may find it easier to overcome your diffidence, fear and write an interesting message if you imagine a man has already written to you first and you are challenged to write a response. How do you imagine for yourself a “perfect” first letter from an interesting stranger? What questions might he ask you? Dare to imagine the compliments he gave you ;-)… And just think of an answer to his letter!
  • The first message should convey a piece of your personality, your personality and uniqueness.
  • In your first message, you might want to describe your purpose (the purpose of your introduction). Using the subjunctive mood is appropriate (“I would like to…”). Also, try not to address the man’s personality and goals (“only write if you’re serious”). You are talking about yourself and your purpose, you want to introduce yourself, so don’t be so overtly suspicious of him (and let him know that in the first letter) or give him an ultimatum.
  • Not every woman has an easy time getting into personal details (this includes what you want in a first email or a short introduction). However, you can make your first message original and unobtrusive. For example, are you a fan of literature or do you enjoy watching movies? Use a quote from your favorite author or movie character to describe the situation, your life priorities, or your dating goal.

For example: “Principles must sometimes be broken, otherwise there is no joy in them. (E. M. Remarque)”. The principle of not writing to a man first may also apply to this ;-).

This is an interesting and unobtrusive way to start a conversation. The first message in which you have chosen a suitable quote will show your extraordinary personality. Make sure, however, that the person you have chosen understands you: try to find the quote you have chosen in English or German, or translate it correctly (without loss of meaning) yourself.

  • Is there anything in his profile that particularly sticks out and catches your attention? For example, his occupation, pet or hobby in the pictures. Or maybe you’ve been to the city where he or she lives? All of these things can be an excuse and an easy “introduction” to get to know each other.
  • Anything that connects you could be an opportunity to connect. A love of the outdoors, art, desire to find your match (check out the short “about me” line in the profiles of the men. Often they are talking about themselves or their purpose there).
  • In addition to the short text you can attach a photo to the first letter. However, send a photo that the man has not yet seen in your profile on an international dating site.
  • Be sure to translate your first letter into English or German. You can ponder over an interesting first letter for a long time, but what good will it do if a foreign beau cannot understand you? Guided by experience, we note that most often untranslated letters drafted in Russian go unanswered.

In conclusion we would like to wish you good luck, courage and ask you to remember that two people who are made for each other can always find common ground. For true feelings and desire to be together words play far from the main role.


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