The Psychology of Needy Women

Needy Women

Needy women can be among the most frustrating aspects of a man’s romantic life. Fortunately, relationship scientists have found a way to identify which women are overly needy and which have their heads on straight. Based on the types of relationships we have with our parents and our past romantic partners, people develop a way of relating to significant others that scientists call attachment style. Understanding the psychology of needy women and knowing your wife’s attachment style can tell you a lot about her psychological issues and whether she’s worth dating.


2 types of attachment styles

When it comes to attachment styles, there are two dimensions: Fear of being abandoned and avoidance of closeness. A person can be low or high on each of these dimensions, resulting in four different attachment styles: assured, needy, distant, and fearful. Meeting a woman with a needy attachment style can be an emotional nightmare. We’re here to help you avoid a dating disaster by giving you tips on the psychology of needy women, how to tell if you’re relating to a needy woman, what’s going on in her head, and how to deal with it.


Type 1

The insured girlfriend: low fear of abandonment + low avoidance of closeness.
Ultimately, an insured woman is the one with whom you will have the best long-term relationship. This type of woman has a low fear of abandonment and does not avoid closeness. In other words, she is not worried that you will leave her, and she finds it easy to share herself emotionally with people in general because she is not afraid that others will not accept her. She also feels comfortable depending on you and, in turn, that you depend on her. For example, if you tell an insured woman that you are planning a boys’ night out, she is telling you to have fun. She trusts you and knows you will come home to her.


Type 2

The needy girlfriend: high fear of being abandoned + low avoidance of closeness.

The needy woman is seriously afraid that you will drop her immediately. At first glance, everything will seem normal. As your relationship progresses, she will complain that you are not close enough as a couple and that she values the relationship more than you do. She will be paranoid about any threat and will become jealous in no time. For example, if you check out the Porsche across the street, she will freak out and accuse you of looking at other girls. You can save your sanity by paying attention to these early clues and getting out of the relationship. However, if you are committed to the relationship, the best way to deal with a needy woman is to give her assurances of your commitment while setting boundaries. If you want three nights a week to do your own thing, say so and stick to the plan, even if she grumbles about it. When you do spend time with her, reassure her by giving her your undivided attention.

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