Nowadays, long-distance relationships have become commonplace. It is not only about a relationship with a foreigner, where lovers are separated, besides miles, by borders between countries. Often, by virtue of life circumstances, married couples also live in different cities, in different parts of the country. The reasons are, as a rule, professional prospects, frequent and long business trips, shift work, etc.
How do you survive a separation from your loved one? Is it possible to keep feelings at a distance?
The downsides of a long-distance relationship are obvious and don’t need additional attention. Instead, we would like to focus on the positives and ways to survive the separation from your loved one and make it less painful.
- The most important thing to understand is that separation is a temporary phase in a relationship, and therefore not a reason to despair. It is impossible to have a long-distance relationship all your life, and at a certain point the time will come to decide on the next step in the relationship.
- The right attitude about a temporary long-distance relationship: you should try to bring out of every situation in life the best for yourself, the best for the relationship. Separation can be beneficial and have a positive effect on the development of the relationship and the self-development of the partners. Time spent without your loved one is a reason to reflect on the relationship once again. Time to miss you, to understand how much you value your man, to think about what is paramount in your relationship, and what are empty little things not worthy of attention. After all, it’s a time for yourself and for self-improvement. It’s time to take care of the things you’ve been putting off “for later.” Occupy yourself with your inner world, for example, to start learning a foreign language or read a book that you haven’t had time for. Pay attention to your appearance, go in for sports, perhaps change your image. The person you love will appreciate your efforts and commitment to self-improvement.
- A long-distance relationship needs certainty. Separation is easier when there is certainty about the future and certainty about meeting again. Make this certainty happen by agreeing on a date for the next meeting! If you know the date of the new meeting, it will be easier to wait for it, there will be something to be happy about and to strive for. Plan a new meeting together with your loved one, this gives additional motivation and allows you to rejoice in anticipation of the long-awaited meeting.
- It is easier to survive a separation for couples in whose relationships in addition to physical, there is also intellectual attraction. Such couples are bound by common interests, it is interesting to talk to each other, share thoughts and impressions. Without free and interesting communication, and in the case of a relationship with a foreigner, communication in the same language – it is difficult to survive a separation, it is difficult to maintain feelings and interest at a distance. Daily communication gives rise to a sense of unity, helps you feel that you “live” moments together despite the distance that separates you.
- Negative emotions, fears, insecurities shown openly to a man will not help maintain a long-distance relationship. Most men think rationally. This also applies to relationships. This peculiarity is most pronounced among Germans. If a German man has no possibility to change the situation in the near future, his beloved’s suffering may be a reason for him to think: is it worth continuing this relationship if it brings her so much pain?
Before moving on to the next topic and highlighting the specifics of virtual dating and long-distance relationships, we would like to cite a quote from Russian writer Alexander Kuprin’s “Olesya.” “Separation is to love what the wind is to a fire: it extinguishes a little love, and blows a big one even stronger.”. A long-distance relationship should be treated as a test for feelings and the seriousness of intentions. If a couple could not keep their love at a distance, then it was destined to happen. Because true love can survive a temporary separation and the reward for the couple will be a happy future together.
Specifics of online dating with foreigners
Dating on the Internet is quite different from dating in real life. If in real life, we can relatively quickly assess a man, his intentions and the possibility of a relationship with him, then virtual dating takes time.
A real relationship with a foreigner begins only after a real meeting
Having met an interesting foreigner on an international dating site, it is possible to feel sympathy for him and even to become interested in a relationship with him. However, it’s important to realize that if you don’t know the man in real life, there is a great danger of idealizing a man and his possible relationship with him. In other words, it is easy to fall in love “absentmindedly” in a dream and give the man those qualities that you would like to see in him, but which he does not possess.
Until the first real meeting, acquaintance, the “relationship” develops and remains virtual. For this reason, it is worth controlling your emotions and not letting your feelings cross a reasonable line, so as not to hurt yourself in the first place. Only after the first meeting is it possible to judge whether real feelings and a relationship between a man and a woman are possible. It is possible to talk about feelings, about falling in love, but it should be understood that these feelings are partly illusory and will remain so until acquaintance in real life takes place, until expectations have been tested by a real meeting.