In previous articles on our blog, we have often talked about self-improvement, self-development, and changing individual perceptions in the area of communication. One of the best ways to improve oneself is to love oneself. The concept of self-love is very capacious and has many manifestations. (Join Adult Dating – MeetKing) Many people confuse self-love with selfishness and exaggerated self-esteem. And these are completely different states, distorted perceptions of self and self-love.
Self-love is the light of your soul reflected in the outside world. It is feeling the light in yourself and seeing that light in others. (Also Read: 7 RULES FOR DATING WITH FOREIGNERS) “What you see in another you become; God, if you see God; dust, if you see dust in another.
Self-love is the complete acceptance of oneself, one’s mental qualities, one’s virtues, the acceptance of one’s appearance and individuality, one’s uniqueness in every gesture and every deed. It is self-care (taking care of the state of body, soul and spirit) and self-development. Each person in his own way loves himself and takes care of himself, though not always a harmonious relationship with himself is built.
The following conditions and reactions indicate an inner imbalance and lack of true self-love:
- Shyness and excessive shyness;
- frequent apologies with or without cause;
- orientation to the opinion of others and dependence on this opinion (what will the neighbors, colleagues, etc. think of me);
- exaggerated importance of another’s opinion and its pressure on the personality;
- a habit of self-abasement (in other words, constant guilt, disbelief in oneself and one’s abilities and capabilities, constant criticism and condemnation of oneself)
- a fixed view of the sense of self-importance and the desire to prove it.
A properly developed sense of self-love gives:
- Taking responsibility for your life, your choices, your decisions and your actions. This gives you strength and energy. Analyzing past relationships and mistakes helps to gain useful experience in communication and to bring a breath of “fresh air” into new relationships, as well as not to repeat situations that have already been experienced.
- Confidence in yourself, in your strength, in your abilities, your talents, in your exclusivity. Belief in one’s potential.
- Leveling the feeling of resentment. When we are resentful, we are in a state of denial, blocking our energy, making ourselves feel bad, while expecting others to notice our resentment, react with guilt, and give us what we want. With a developed sense of self-love, states of resentment do not occur, in consequence of understanding the process. If you know yourself, your intentions and thoughts, confident in their purity, then you simply do not take offensive words personally. It’s not your problem, it’s the difficulty of the person who said it. They are a mirror image of HIS inner state. Resentment over broken promises is based on a system of expectations. And expectations always lead to disappointments. Yevgeny Yevtushenko wrote, “Without great hope, it is more reliable for hope.
- As a consequence of openness of heart, the feeling of self-love gives a better understanding of the actions of others, understanding the reasons that drive them (the main reason is fear, although other feelings and emotions may lie on the surface, but still the underlying emotion is fear and lack of love). As a consequence of this understanding is forgiveness. “The weak cannot forgive. Forgiveness is the property of the strong” Mahatma Gandhi.
- A state of emotional equilibrium, inner peace and stability. Lack of aggression toward your partner. You can always stop communicating with someone who is behaving inappropriately. “Eckhart Tolle: “When you are at one with yourself, it is impossible to even think of conflict.
- The feeling of self-pity, the need to feel like a victim and as a reaction the desire to complain, to feel your helplessness, which you yourself have instilled in yourself, is gone.
- Understanding yourself and your own merits and seeing the merits of others. Confidence that you are worthy of the best and live among worthy people. “Become the best friend you can be to yourself, and then you can be in the choicest society.
- The desire to improve. “Self-love is the beginning of a novel that lasts a lifetime” Oscar Wilde.
- The law of attraction, also called the law of resonance, kicks in. On your path, you begin to attract people with whom you are on the same wavelength, with the same attitude toward the world and people, and circumstances that contribute to the realization of your goals.
Self-love involves openness and cordiality. If your heart is open, love grows in parallel. It manifests in all facets of feelings and their manifestations: sympathy, acceptance, understanding, forgiveness – and gives peace of mind.