It’s natural for your best friend to date someone you end up liking, too. Sure, you think they deserve someone as amazing as they are, but you also need to spend some time with them once they become an item.

However, this is not always how it works. Sometimes the two of you just don’t mesh, creating unwanted tension when you are in the same room. It can be very difficult for your best friend’s significant other to live up to the expectations you set, leading to a very uncomfortable dynamic when he is around.

What to do if you don’t like your best friend’s girl?

Maria Sullivan, dating expert and VP of Dating.com, says the root of most conflicts between you and your friend’s romantic partner is jealousy.

If you’re single, your best friend is your go-to guy for plans or advice on Saturday night. However, when you find a significant other, these roles shift. It’s possible for a best friend to get jealous without knowing it, she explains. They just want things to go back to the way they were before and take it out on the partner who is the cause of all these changes.

There are exceptions, of course, as this dislike of their partner can also be based on a genuine concern. Dr. Dara Bushman, a licensed clinical psychologist, believes in this circumstance. It is worth turning to your boyfriend, but only if this response is really 100 percent without jealousy.

Authentic, direct and precise. Say, ‘My concerns are empty because,’ she advises. Talk to them about how you want to be addressed. Bushman thinks this conversation is especially important if your friend keeps dating someone who is so wrong for them, but is blinded by sex, passion or otherwise.

Bushman also acknowledges that friends may be apprehensive about approaching the conversation for fear that no one will understand their perspective on the situation. Not discussing it is disingenuous and compromises the integrity of your relationship, she says, but reiterates that you need to have serious concerns because any sense of jealousy from your friend will nullify your concerns and have the opposite effect.

Of course, it can be especially difficult for men to open the dialogue, but that shouldn’t be used as an excuse.

Men aren’t always so verbal about the issues they face, but if they truly value their relationships, it’s important that they put their egos aside and open the floor to honest discussion, Sullivan says. The best way to resolve issues between friends and partners, regardless of gender, is to address the situation head-on before it becomes a bigger problem.

What to do if your best friend hates your girl?

Unfortunately, there may not be room for honest conversation. A friend can probably tell if their buddy doesn’t like their new partner, and it’s equally important that this person knows how to deal with this dynamic shift and be ready to face it in the end.

In the case of jealousy, it’s important to recognize that their criticism and dislike of your partner is coming from a jealous place, not a place of genuine concern, Sullivan explains. Reach out to your friend in advance and let them know you plan to stay with your partner. You’ll want to try to arrange time and events so that he has little or no interaction. If the time you spend together continues to include conversations about why you should break up, confront your boyfriend and let him know again that you plan to stay together. If you make this clear but your boyfriend doesn’t give, it may be time to find a new friend who values your opinion and happiness.

If you’re worried that confrontation will be challenging for the friend who is reconciling both a best friend and a significant other, Sullivan suggests keeping it simple: Ask what’s wrong, and express that you want them to be friends, and you’re anxious to fix problems issues between them.

But when it really comes to making the S.O. annoying, irritating, or purely untruthful, it’s important to remember that you’re not the one dating them. And Sullivan notes that as a friend, you should recognize your friend’s happiness. Don’t let it get in the way of their relationship or yours. Is it worth losing your friend?

On the other hand, if you are the one in the relationship, you need to realize that there is not always a lot you can do if you want to stay in both that friendship and romantic relationship, especially if your friend can. ‘ t identify a solid problem once it is confronted.

If your significant other hasn’t done anything wrong, there’s nothing you can do except keep the friendship alive by taking time to see them individually to avoid further conflict, Sullivan explains. Keep your relationships as separate as possible. If one person has bad intentions, whether it’s your partner or best friend, it will eventually surface. It’s likely that person won’t be in your circle in the future.

According to Bushman, both or either of them will find a way to compromise if both the significant other and the friend truly love the person they share.

And that’s the best thing you can do if you want them in your life for the long haul.

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