Why play hard to get works?

Psychology is interesting when it comes to early relationships. One thing that becomes obvious is that receiving something from a potential partner, whether in the form of time, energy, money, or attention, makes them feel more committed to you. It’s called investing, and some people find it surprising, but it explains why someone who seems too available often stands out.

Some men unconsciously register your hard play as a sign that you’re a good woman because you don’t give it up too easily – whether it’s a relationship, sex, or just your time. Some men who do this veer dangerously close to slut-shaming, more on that in this post, but a man who wants to make sure you’re specifically interested in him will have similar thoughts, even if he doesn’t realize he has them .

It’s not all bullshit, either. Studies on human psychology show that playing hard affects the other person’s emotions. Interestingly, a study at Hong Kong University showed that people who were more engaged came off as nicer, bought those who played it more distantly, were seen as more desirable – and were more likely to be asked out on dates.

However, the same study shows that playing hard only works if the person is already interested. Here are some signs that he’s interested in you. If there is no attraction, this method will not work for you and you had better try to be sympathetic and highlight both physical and psychological features that make you attractive. After you notice it signs of attraction Look at these at helpful tips on flirting to get him to like you! If someone is already interested, being cool and aloof can spark their interest in fiery passion, but there is a fine line to walk.

One thing seems to be true. If you have met a man in a public place and there is an attraction, it will generally work in your favor if you play hard to get in the moment. But if the relationship has progressed beyond flirtation, not returning calls or being flaky can be a deal-breaker. Love won’t wait forever – read more Here.

How to play hard to get

Playing hard to get is about being aloof and distant enough to make him want you more, but not so much that he’s turned off. Here are eight proven ways to evaluate your man!

1. Take your time when responding to texts

When he sends you a message via Facebook or text, take some time to respond. This is one of the most successful ways to get hard. If you are active on social media where he can see you, this will drive him crazy. However, you don’t want to play too hard to get, so give him a little credit if he takes the time to actually call you or shows up at your door. However, you don’t want to be too quick to respond or always text first. Read more in this post .

2. Do not drop everything for him

Being busy is a great way to get hard, and if you have a fast-paced lifestyle, this will be the case. However, you need to be careful that you don’t let him think that you are blowing him off. The key here is to be able to say “no” to last minute plans, but accept plans where he puts more time and energy into creating them. This sends the message that you value his time, but aren’t just waiting for your phone to light up and display his name.

3. Keep yourself busy

This goes hand in hand with the previous idea. The easiest way to shake off those last minute invitations is to have something to do. Make plans with friends to go to plays or movies, concerts, or just drink coffee or play video games. You’ll feel great when you socialize, make new friends, and have something to keep you from your new flirting partner when you’re hard to get.

4. Let him know that there are other people

Well, you shouldn’t necessarily make a man think he is one of many you are interested in. You can’t play hard to get that way. But if you imply that others want or wanted you, let him know that you are valuable to his competition, and this may encourage him to grab you before someone else does! If some of the people you spend time with (see above) are men, you are already on the right track!

5. End the conversation

Few things are better than a flirty text exchange – read our guide to flirting by text – or a call full of innuendo, but they need to end some time. This is a perfect opportunity for you to play hard to get if you end the conversation first. Maybe you have to go to work or a meeting, it’s time for lunch, or you’re going to bed. Let him know your time is valuable and you’ve given him all you can – for now. It’s also good to give him space because he can be nervous too .

6. Tell him that you don’t want anything serious

One way to make sure a man calls you, especially after the first time you have sex, is to tell him you don’t want anything serious. This key phrase causes many men to want you even more once they realize you’re cool with casual sex without strings. And while it may be a little white lie, you can easily turn it around if he pursues you and you “change your mind” because you realize you like him.

7. Omit some details

It’s not easy to want more when you’re only getting a few juicy bites, so a mysterious nature is the perfect companion to getting hard. This means you don’t want to give away too much information about yourself, your story, and your thoughts or feelings. Answer any questions he may ask directly, especially if you are doing this to get to know each other, but don’t give up too much information.

One way to do this is to point out the exciting parts of the story, like the crazy weekend in Tijuana or the time you traveled around the country with your girlfriends, without giving away the entire plot. Once you’ve piqued his interest, he should take the bait and ask for more details, which you’re welcome to give once he’s noticed you!

8. Let him know that you are not impressed

You’re trying to attract a guy by playing hard, and he’s trying to get you to like him. You don’t want to seem too eager, even if he’s brought his A-game to the table. So how do you respond to his chest puffing and boasting? Let him know you’re not impressed or not as impressed as you really are. A shy ‘Is that all? If he tells you he’s a 28-year-old millionaire, it will encourage him to impress you even more, and you’ll know he’s in love with you!

Now you don’t want to get into pickup artist territory. It’s not about hurting his self-esteem, it’s about having fun. So make sure you have a smile or laugh on your mouth as you playfully nudge him. Lean over and touch his arm or shoulder, a surefire way Let him know you’re flirting and he’ll feel comfortable.

Should you always play hard to get?

Playing hard can work well in your favor and drive a man right into your arm, but it can also have unintended side effects. This is because some women miss the crucial point of learning how to play hard to get: They shouldn’t be impossible get. If you are too distant or too cold, potential partners will give up. You have to give a little to keep him on track and encourage him to pursue you. Otherwise, you’re both just wasting time!

But you can also screw up playing hard by not dealing with it. If you play distant but switch to affectionate too quickly, your method is sure to fail. Some women do this because they fear they are playing too hard to get, but turning the tables can look desperate You want to avoid that. It’s natural to worry that you’ll push him away, but you should remember that most men appreciate that a woman is more interested than she actually is. Psychotherapist Vinita Mehta calls this ‘Sexual Over-Perception Bias.’

Finally, it’s important to know that some people just see playing hard to get as a game, and he will walk away if he doesn’t like games. This may be especially true if he has been pulled around by other women in the past or has low self-esteem. If he is open about his feelings for you and you feel the same way, it is probably safe to give up this kind of game and continue your budding relationship in a direct and honest way. Honesty is a relationship rule after all you should always stick to it.

If he seems confident and you are in the right environment, you have nothing to lose by being hard to get. But if you play too hard If he’s not interested in games or has low self-esteem or your relationship should go beyond that point, you’ll probably get more mileage out of the direct approach.