We live in a patriarchal society that is undergoing a reformation because of feminism and trends toward equality. More and more girls are striving to be leaders: both in their studies and work and in their relationships. But many guys are not giving up their positions. A compromise will be found, because there are leaders and slaves of both sexes, and there has never been and never will be a single gender norm. If you want to know how to control a woman, how to be dominant and manipulate a girl, what is he like in general – the dominant guy, then this article is for you.
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What it means to dominate: How dominants behave
The concept of dominance is vast because there is no single definition.
- Some see dominance as an endless demonstration of one’s own power.
- Others see the ability to manipulate, still others see the ability to be the alpha male and solve any problems.
These are different kinds of male dominance, and each has a place because it finds resonance and fulfillment. Nevertheless, not every one is worth following.
When thinking about how a man dominates a woman, most men imagine a tough alpha who twists the ropes out of his girlfriend as he bends to his will. In reality, it rarely works that way: few men are capable of acting in these ways by nature.
A rare girl these days will allow herself to be controlled in all things. A successful result of such a relationship will come only when you find a girl who is willing to bend her own way.
It is not often that control of one and submission of the other will be accepted by both partners, and both will agree to it. In most cases, attempts to subjugate a woman to her will end with her walking away.
At the heart of dominance is the power that one partner has. This power can indeed manifest itself through constant machismo, through manipulation, and through alpha behavior (read about who alphas are and what is peculiar to them in this article). But girls often choose quiet guys who are simply able to take control of the situation at the right moment and siege even the most charismatic personalities. And such a trait is also a sort of form of dominance.
There are four rules in dominance. These are the clauses that both create and point to this distribution of roles:
- The dominant is an egoist. The dominant is the one who values himself above the partner and the relationship. Who can walk away if something goes wrong. He stands in a strong position and decides whether or not the relationship should continue. Also, the master is so convinced of his value that the slave is indoctrinated by it. He, too, believes that the partner is important and valuable, and also that he can leave at any moment. Therefore, he sags even more.
A dominant guy in a relationship with a woman is easily conflicted and puts his decisions and feelings above hers, so the woman believes this and goes along with any conditions for fear of losing her partner.
- The Authority is greater for the one who loves less. He doesn’t have such a strong fear of losing his partner and weaknesses to which manipulation is conveniently directed. Conversely: if you are constantly jealous, resentful, anxious, throwing tantrums – you give all the ways to control yourself on the basis of these emotions and become driven.
- The more self-sufficient one dominates. The more important and joyful things in his life besides relationships, the easier it will be for him to break up with them. A person for whom a relationship means everything will bend any way he wants to keep it.
- The more invested you are, the more dependent you are. You don’t want to lose a relationship you’ve worked hard at. You want to compromise or give in to your partner sooner. Someone who got a relationship for nothing appreciates it less than someone who put effort into it. Not being willing to let so much resource and energy go to waste makes a person vulnerable.
How does a man dominate a woman
There are a few basic rules for a man to begin to dominate a woman.
- To begin with, choose the right kind of domination. You don’t have to reshape yourself from scratch, just pick the right kind of power. You have to work on yourself, because until you train yourself to show force, until you make it automatic, at any moment you may fail critically. You can learn the right way to dominate a girl with words, but if it is not your nature at all, it will be too hard to stick to this strategy.
- Next, find a girl who likes this type of display of power. Women always discern what dominant behavior looks like. They don’t pass over force, but they prefer to choose it in the right form – and this is a competent and sensible approach.
- Don’t forget that dominance is not only about rights, but also about duties, about responsibility. If you take control of a woman’s will and actions, your job is to ensure her comfort and well-being.
A man who dominates a woman devalues her personality: he perceives her as a tool, takes away her right to choose and does not allow her to realize her needs on her own. So if you push too hard and don’t take care of your partner’s comfort, pure violence will come out, the relationship will collapse, the woman will leave. So if you can’t or don’t plan to take care of a subordinate woman, it’s better not to start the story with domination.
The best way to get coveted power is to accustom the girl to the fact that she gets something for doing what you want, which is something she needs herself. When this reflex becomes unconditional, she looks for opportunities to please herself, because it becomes beneficial not only to you, but also to her. To learn how to give positive reinforcement, read this article on how to make a girl feel good.
How to learn how to dominate: basic dominant techniques
Start by choosing your own form of dominance. Understand how far you want to go: is it enough for you to dominate a woman in communication or in bed, or do you want to turn your companion into a convenient tool to satisfy your needs. You may want to settle for less, and all that remains is to develop the appropriate habits.
If your goal is global, learn to apply the well-known “carrot and stick”: punish a woman for disobedience, encourage her for submission. The punishment can be a ban on anything, a temporary cessation of communication or sex, ignoring, revenge, deprivation of some privileges.
Remember that not every girl will tolerate this. Another option:
- To be softer,
- more attentive,
- more caring,
- Do something nice in return.
But if you get a psychology-savvy girl who sees you reconfiguring her to suit you, the whole house of cards will collapse.
- Learn toughness and gain strength. You will need to be tough either occasionally or all the time, depending on strategy. It will take self-confidence and a lot of practice. Other people won’t believe in your strength until you believe in it yourself.
- Practice on random people and isolated cases. Are you able to crush someone with your will and charisma? Do they see your power, do they obey it? When you learn how to control people who are above you in status, merit, or even just your career, consider that you have learned.
- Don’t try to do absolute evil. If you only seek to suppress others and establish yourself at their expense, you will be dropped. You must also give them something positive, something desirable, which will prevent you from making an unequivocal decision on your account.
How not to do
Dominance based on manipulation does not tolerate stupidity. You have to learn to understand people and situations, to see leverage, motivations, and mistakes in behavior – your own and someone else’s. It is necessary to be able to recognize the dominants of the stronger: in front of them it is better to retreat, because they will get their way and from you. Either painlessly or with losses on your part. On what to do if a girl likes to dominate, I will write a separate article. But the bottom line is that either you will put up with it and find a comfortable form of interaction, or it is better to separate.
- Again, you can’t influence only by punishment-without encouragement, it’s meaningless and only leads to the breakdown of any relationship. Remember the power over a man to provide for his desires.
- Don’t try to jump over your own head-if you’re not capable of being a boorish macho man all the time, don’t try. Find a more comfortable form of domination.
- Don’t turn dominance into violence by forcing it on a girl who doesn’t accept this form of relationship but is too weak to leave on her own. Such a patriarchal format is worth establishing only when both partners are ready and agree to it.
- Don’t think that dominance is the only key to a happy relationship. It is not at all. It is only one form, which, in fact, is not suitable for everyone because of its great laboriousness: you have to constantly monitor the woman’s actions and correct their direction. A more equal and honest relationship is just as satisfying in most cases.
- Don’t think that dominance is the greatest power you can gain. Acting honestly toward yourself and others and getting what you want in the process is much harder and usually more effective.
- Don’t get carried away. If you decide to dominate a girl, don’t jump by pure chance into dominating everyone around you-it’s so hard that hardly anyone can pull off something like that. And there’s not much point in that either.
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- Which type of dominance is closer to you?
- Are you sure you can handle it?
- Why did you decide that it was necessary to dominate a girl?
Answer in the comments!