Analysis of Doc Love’s The System – The Dating Dictionary

Doc Love (Thomas Hodges) is an internationally recognized dating and relationship coach for males. His information and knowledge comes from having interviewed over 10,000 ladies over the last 35 years and posing elementary questions on why a girl chooses to depart one man and stick with one other. He has additionally interviewed a number of males which might be ‘naturals’ on this space and by no means have hassle getting and conserving ladies.

Doc Love’s thorough evaluation of info gathered from his interviews has culminated in 4 volumes of work:


THE SYSTEM – THE DATING DICTIONARY is the essential course that units the inspiration for all the things else. Once the scholar (whom Doc Love refers to as ‘Spartan-In-Training’) totally internalizes it, he can transfer on to the superior Mastery Series.

THE SYSTEM – THE DATING DICTIONARY covers some particular ideas and components concerned within the dynamics of any relationship. Some of them are as follows:

Interest Level: Just as Location is all the things in the true property enterprise, a girl’s Interest Level is all the things within the dating sport. Interest Level (IL in brief) principally refers to how strongly she is interested in you.

When her IL is excessive, she makes all the things straightforward for you, does something to make you content and all the time finds a purpose to be with you. On the opposite hand, when her IL is low, she begins to make some attention-grabbing excuses to keep away from being with you. Interest Level is a dynamic issue and the person’s actions will decide whether or not it rises up or falls down.

Challenge = How robust it’s for the lady to win you over. If you simply flip for a pretty lady, then you’re a zero problem for her, as a result of she must do completely nothing to win you over! Instead, if you happen to set your requirements increased and anticipate not solely bodily attractiveness, but in addition correct respectful behaviour, honesty, integrity and a versatile perspective, then she must work quite a bit more durable to win you over. In the latter case, you are displaying extra problem.

Confidence: This has two sub-elements – Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem.

Self-Confidence = How strongly you imagine in your self. While it’s doable to ‘faux it till you make it’, actual confidence comes from product information of life typically and ladies particularly…..and your demonstrated means within the software of the identical.

Self-Esteem = How a lot you worth your self. This is the place it is very important say no to a girl on occasion, specifically when you realize that she is asking for one thing that might compromise your integrity. Women typically do that to check you! But if you happen to maintain your floor throughout such events, her IL rises up. On the opposite hand, if you happen to give in, her IL drops.

Control: This has three elements – Patience, Self-Discipline and Self-Control (notice that it doesn’t consult with controlling the lady, which is definitely unattainable!)

The 3 C’s talked about above – Challenge, Confidence and Control – are the masculine metal traits that increase a girl’s Interest Level. A person must practise all of them collectively to boost the lady’s Interest Level. If her Interest Level drops, it is rather seemingly that he’s lacking out on a minimum of one of the three C’s.

Once a girl’s Interest Level rises over 95%, you might be by no means incorrect in her eyes! And that’s the place you want to be with the intention to have a contented relationship. However, there’s additionally a set of masculine velvet traits that you want to practise with the intention to preserve her Interest Level excessive. These are: Affection, Respect, Romance and Humour.

If you fail to practise these velvet traits, her Interest Level will drop.

Doc Love’s THE SYSTEM – DATING DICTIONARY focusses extra on lengthy-time period relationships than brief-time period flings. And with the intention to have a contented relationship that lasts for all times, Doc Love teaches you that other than gauging a girl’s Interest Level, you additionally have to gauge her Attitude.

To be extra exact, you date her Interest Level, however you marry her Attitude.

As far as a girl’s perspective is worried, she must have the next non-negotiables:

  • She should be self-reliant
  • She will need to have a excessive self-esteem
  • She will need to have a versatile nature
  • She should be a giver
  • She will need to have integrity, which in flip is comprised of loyalty, honesty and trustworthiness.

Note that it’s doable for a lady to have a really excessive Interest Level in you; but when she has a awful perspective then she is going to solely find yourself decreasing your curiosity stage in her over the lengthy haul. And this could make you depressing, specifically if you happen to get caught in a loveless marriage.

Doc Love’s THE SYSTEM – THE DATING DICTIONARY additionally teaches you that after a girl’s IL goes under 50%, then it could by no means be introduced again up. So the connection is over for all sensible functions. However, whereas most males would depart a relationship when their IL drops under 50%, ladies often wait till their IL drops under 40%, as a result of of their nesting nature.

And it could take a very long time probably greater than 10-20 years for this to occur (i.e. for her Interest Level to fall from 49% to 39%). But throughout this era, you’ve gotten nearly zero probability of reviving her attraction for you. The relationship turns right into a rut, and sure, you’ll have to put up together with her incessant nagging, arguing, mood tantrums and disrespectful behaviour typically.

But as soon as it goes under 40%, she has already constructed up sufficient resentment and hatred in the direction of you that offsets the nesting issue…and consequently she turns into extraordinarily vicious! This is if you hear about tons of males being falsely accused of rape, abuse or home violence and being despatched to jail on false expenses! I’m certain you need to have come throughout a minimum of one male good friend of yours that went by means of this nasty ordeal. Quite a scary factor eh?!

So if you happen to want to keep away from visiting a vicious anti-male household courtroom; or shelling out truckloads of money to divorce attorneys; or shedding your onerous-earned cash and home to a vicious ex-spouse; or shedding custody of your youngsters; or shedding your sanity typically, you most undoubtedly must be geared up with superior information of ladies and dating.

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