Women love power – and in relationships, too, why hide it. But women’s power is always different from men’s, both in world politics and in more domestic matters. If you don’t already know how to take control of a relationship, here I’ll tell you what dominant girl behavior looks like, how to be her and manipulate a guy, and how a woman dominates a man in general.
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What does it mean to “dominate” and does a woman need it
Dominance is, roughly speaking, to dominate and suppress. But it looks different in different cases because there are many ways to get power over a man. There is no single definition of dominance, and everyone chooses their own way to manipulate another.
For a long time domination was exclusively a male prerogative: historically the role of women had never been central, and only feminism drew society’s attention to the issue.
The difficulty is also that there has never been and never will be a single norm. And under the patriarchal system, not all couples were dominated by men. And now, in the age of burgeoning feminism and equality, not all women want to take the lead. Society may offer us a model, but it is never the case that absolutely everyone follows it.
- Dominance is built on suppressing another’s will, forcing another to act in your best interest.
- The process itself can look like violence, and remain completely invisible even to the one being suppressed.
This is basically the main difference between male and female domination: women make everything softer. They are closer to the role of the gray cardinal who carefully controls others without their knowledge. Sometimes it is different, but more often women manipulate gently, secretly and gently, while men manipulate more harshly and directly. It is not for nothing that dominant guys are often called alpha, while there is no such thing as an alpha woman.
Dominance itself involves manipulating and suppressing one’s partner – which ethically is a rather controversial position. Of course, the “gray cardinal method” does not humiliate the man, but you deprive him of the chance for honest interaction. This makes the relationship unequal: in essence, you are not choosing your partner’s personality, but devaluing it by using the man as a tool. There are many good ways to win a man that both you and he will like.
Many people think that dominance is the way to be the unconditional leader in a relationship, but that’s a mistake. There are no unconditional leaders here: your partner will still do things his own way and even influence your decisions and actions by his mere presence.
- It is harder for women to be dominant in principle: men are not historically used to obey. You have to look for deceptive ways not to violate established gender stereotypes. A dominant girl in a relationship with a guy always walks on a razor blade: if her actions are discovered, she will be in danger. That is why few women choose this path: it is easier and safer to either be honest or not try to suppress the young man at all.
- Whether it is necessary to dominate is up to each girl to decide for herself. It depends on her personality, her partner, her goals – relationship and life.
- If male domination can be divided into types according to the method of manipulation, then with female domination everything is more complicated: it is impossible to dominate a man directly. That is why types of female domination are more difficult to define: almost impossible. Unless there are subtle differences in technique.
Regardless of gender, there are four immutable rules upon which dominance is built. They are the distribution of roles, responsibility, and involvement:
- The dominant, that is, the leader, is more selfish than the slave. He values himself above his partner and the relationship, certain that his needs are more important than both. The slave is indoctrinated by this feeling and is afraid of losing the connection, which only reinforces the master’s selfishness and permissiveness. This creates a vicious circle in which one has more and more power and the other has less and less.
- The one who is less in love has more power. Falling in love gives us dependence and vulnerability-we fear losing our partner and make more concessions. Those who are less in love value themselves more. Conversely, a jealous person who worries about the relationship, fears losing it, and throws tantrums is more dependent. He lets the other be manipulated by his emotions and ends up being driven.
- The dominant is more self-sufficient. The one partner who has many other occasions for joy in life besides the relationship is less dependent. The loss of the relationship is undesirable for him, but not so critical, because it is not the main thing in life, not the only priority. Therefore, he experiences quarrels more easily and is more inclined to adapt the relationship to his needs. While the person for whom a relationship is the main thing, is ready to bend strongly under his or her partner.
- The one who is more dependent is the one who is more invested in the relationship. The harder we try and work at them, the more we value them and do more to keep from losing that relationship. It also works the other way around: if the other person gets the relationship almost for nothing, if he didn’t have to put a lot of effort into it, he doesn’t value it as much and behaves freely.
How does a woman dominate a man
The most effective thing a woman can do is to dominate a man in communication. Just ask the right questions about life, about love, about sex. A secret game that is hard to recognize. It requires high skills and long training – to say something to a man in time to change his mind and make him act in the woman’s best interest. Ideally, the switch happens so that the man is happy about it: there must be some benefit for him, too.
- In domination and manipulation, the slave’s benefit plays an important role. If it is not there, there is no reason to submit and bend, and the man will simply leave the relationship.
- Because of the structure of society, even those who are weaker and more prone to the slave position do not accept the idea that a woman is allowed to submit. So her sensible solution is to make sure that the man does not feel submissive.
- This effect is achieved by manipulation on mood and pleasure. A woman gets upset if a man does something that does not please her. And she is happy if she gets what she wants. In the case of manipulation, she does both more vividly than she really feels, so that she can influence the man more strongly and convey the right signals to him more clearly.
- The most convenient way to do manipulation is to use the carrot and stick system – to encourage and punish. But do it subtly and gracefully: there is no need for overt revenge or overt encouragement. All of this happens through a demonstration of the change of moods and its consequences. A man wants to see his girlfriend happy, so he tries for her. He quickly learns what makes her happy and what makes her feel down. Over time he begins to recognize her states quite quickly and adjust his actions by getting the easiest signals.
So female dominance is not about suppression and stiffness. It’s about one’s own weakness and how to exploit it. The strength of manipulative women is in their weakness. To learn how to properly dominate a man with words, you must learn to control your emotions and show them correctly.
How a girl learns to dominate: the basic rules
To understand how to control a man, you have to learn a lot. Once again, assess whether the result is worth the effort – a man can not only be manipulated. Negotiate and play fair – no less worthy strategy. And probably more effective.
If you’ve decided on a goal, though, here are the rules to learn how to subtly manipulate a mood.
- Watch how your emotions are expressed. What do you do when you are happy, upset, angry, which ones get brighter and which ones are suppressed.
- Gather role models: among familiar or favorite artistic characters, you’ll find those from whom you can learn to express emotion. Some people are so happy that their mood lifts, others are so angry that they let anyone know exactly what they shouldn’t do to them in one go. Observe this, try to adopt specific techniques: intonation, gestures, facial expressions, general mood and intensity of reaction.
- Practice on others: try to control the behavior of others, not your partner. Start with those who are easier to influence. Once you get the hang of it, move on to harder targets. You have your own strategy that works for you. Refine it before transferring it to a relationship.
- Watch your partner and other people’s moods as you practice. If your partner is busy, worried about something of his own, or tired, it will be harder for him to see and understand what you are trying to convey to him.
- Learn to anticipate actions, study the logic of human behavior. Start with reactions: before each action, think about how the person will react. You’ll be wrong at first, but over time you’ll anticipate reactions and actions more and more accurately.
- Build up your independence. Manipulating a man runs the risk of at any moment not taking something into account, screwing up and losing the game. The result is either a big scandal followed by suspicion of your every action or a breakup.
- Don’t lose yourself. You’re playing a big game, and you risk forgetting what it was all about. Controlling a man is not an end in itself. It’s a tool to get something you want. Identify this coveted thing right away and don’t forget about it in the process. If you notice that the game is not worth the candle, do not delay with the change: either you need another man, or another strategy.
- Be sensitive to your chosen partner. If he is a connoisseur of psychology or prone to domination himself, it is better to leave the venture or choose someone else.
There may be a situation where you don’t know what to do if a guy likes to dominate. In that case, you’ll either have to wrap the situation in your favor, adjust, or find another guy. You run the risk of not being able to handle him, and that can be dangerous.
What limits should not be exceeded.
Female dominance is subtler than male dominance, so there are more restrictions, limits, and rules. And following them becomes a safety issue, because usually the man is stronger and more of a threat than the woman.
So here’s what to avoid:
- Don’t push. If a man doesn’t want to do something, that’s no reason to push harder, that’s a reason to look for other leverage.
- Avoid being too harsh.
- Don’t suppress your emotions, don’t forget that they should look bright.
- Avoid hints that are too subtle, men usually don’t understand them. Try to act and speak as simply and directly as possible.
- Don’t make too complicated schemes, act step by step.
- Don’t let yourself be manipulated.
- Don’t let go of control of the situation so that you don’t let the unforeseen happen and deal with dire consequences.
Manipulating a man is easy, it’s not easy to learn. Go to the rating of the best dating sites, choose the portal you like, chat with guys and pump up your dominance skills.
- Did this article add to your determination?
- Are you willing to put in enough effort to achieve a quality result?
- Have you ever happened to manipulate a man by accident?
I’m waiting for your answers and opinions in the comments 🙂