When occupied with the subject of this text, the very first thing I considered-for some unknown, loopy cause-was that now-notorious interview Hall-Of-Fame quarterback Joe Namath did with Suzy Kolber throughout an NFL recreation a number of years in the past.
Clearly drunk, or make that “plastered”, Broadway Joe had begun the interview by commenting on New York Jets quarterback Chad Pennington’s efficiency.
But in response to Ms. Kolber’s observe-up query, he busted out with “I want to kiss you”. Interestingly, Suzy dealt with the brouhaha with aplomb…even showing to get considerably of a kick out of it.
Now, shortly after this loopy second occurred earlier than tens of millions on stay tv, Namath solemnly apologized for his actions on ESPN. Of course.
Here’s the factor, although. The alcohol concerned right here in all probability solely served to unleash his inhibitions relative to saying such a factor on nationwide tv, and at a very…um…inopportune second.
Actually SAYING IT, although, was purely his nature.
Anyone who’s acquainted with Joe Namath’s model knew deep down he in all probability simply being himself. After all, he has been operating this kind of “direct game” with ladies off-digicam for over 45 years.
The man has been recognized for having TONS of girls round since LONG earlier than he was ever the hero of Super Bowl III.
So what are you able to study from a drunk soccer legend? And higher but, what are you able to study from a sports activities reporter’s nonchalant dealing with of his overt flirtation?
Well, clearly, I’m 100% with you in agreeing there is a WHOLE LOT you possibly can study NOT to do.
BUT…there’s additionally one VERY KEY precept at play there that could be a hidden pearl of knowledge. And that is what I need to key in on.
Simply put, if flirting is BUILT IN TO YOUR PERSONALITY as a part of your LIFESTYLE, then ladies know higher than to imagine their potential “rejection” wields any actual energy.
Consider that assertion for a second, as a result of it is a fairly heavy one.
Essentially, in case your HABIT is to banter with ladies and present attraction freely, then it is arduous for a lady to REALLY know FOR SURE how significant your curiosity is at first, is not it?
And this retains YOU answerable for your interactions with ladies, and acts as a really actual buffer in opposition to having to take care of “rejection”.
But most guys have made flirting an EXCEPTIONAL BEHAVIOR reasonably than a LIFESTYLE HABIT, and subsequently they drain themselves of masculine management energy each time they work together with a lady.
Let me clarify how this works in opposition to us and why it issues.
If you, like most guys, tiptoe via life frightened about “offending” ladies by exhibiting any curiosity in them, then you might be primarily setting your self as much as be a strolling self-fulfilling prophecy.
That is to say, if it is UNUSUAL so that you can ever present curiosity in a lady, everytime you ACTUALLY DO SO it’s going to come off as a reasonably severe deal…for BOTH you AND the girl.
You may have needed to collect your self, and your phrases, and pull all of it collectively for the “big moment”.
What does this do? Naturally, it places the girl in TOTAL CONTROL of the state of affairs, and also you actually at her mercy.
She could also be considering, “Oh wow…this guy REALLY likes me. I’ve got to come up with a serious response here.”
And certainly, that is the place you’ll have LED on this state of affairs. You’re left hanging, ready to see how she reacts to you.
Granted, she would possibly offer you a good response-or she might not. But the truth stays the similar: Most guys deal with flirting as DEAD SERIOUS stuff, and this places ladies in the “hot seat” each time.
Ironically, she’s IN CHARGE, and that is NOT the place she WANTS to be in these conditions.
Contrast such a state of affairs with Broadway Joe’s instance above. Even in the context of a serious tv blunder in the making, you could possibly form of inform by Suzy Kolber’s response that she was giving him a “free pass” of kinds.
Granted, she’s a professional on the subject of broadcasting, so she will be able to suppose fairly shortly on her toes.
But as the dialog was taking place, you could possibly nearly FEEL her imagining the phrase, “Yeah, sure Joe. I bet you tell ALL THE GIRLS that.” And my guess is about 75% of the viewing viewers was considering the very same factor.
And rightly so. Because certainly he DOES “tell all the girls that”.
Now I’m NOT going to inform you to “go and do like Joe Namath” insofar as getting drunk and saying issues on TV that require apologies later. And I’m not even going to counsel such “direct game” as strolling as much as random ladies and telling them you need to kiss them, essentially.
In truth, for actual-world functions consider “Lifestyle Flirting” extra when it comes to enjoyable, playful banter.
But what I AM going to do is ask you to think about the wonderful message conveyed when a lady utters the magic phrase: “I bet you tell ALL THE GIRLS that”.
Do you suppose for a second Namath offers a rat’s tail section whether or not or not Suzy Kolber kisses him or not? Do you suppose he has already made her his girlfriend in his thoughts? Married her? Made infants along with her?
That collection of speedy-hearth questions received extra ridiculous because it progressed, huh?
Simply put, for those who can grow to be a person who’s COMFORTABLE with flirting as a LIFESTYLE, then rejection is OFF THE TABLE.
Instead of gifting away unconditional energy to ladies, your informal-even NON-SELECTIVE-perspective towards interacting with MOTOS (members of the reverse intercourse) places YOU again in management.
As such, ladies are left at a mysterious loss as as to whether you REALLY would “select” her if given the likelihood or not.
You are seen as a man who appreciates ALL nice ladies, subsequently you exhibit ZERO desperation or concern of loss.
When you possibly can view flirting, and even interplay with ladies of ANY type, in such a light-weight it CHANGES EVERYTHING.
Instead of singling out ladies for flirting, for those who can free your self as much as playfully banter with MOST ladies wherever you go you will form of hit a “critical mass” earlier than you realize it.
And it is wild whenever you begin seeing the results of this “Lifestyle Flirting” manifest themselves.
Instead of girls feeling SINGLED OUT whenever you flirt with them, they will really feel LEFT OUT whenever you DO NOT.
That’s proper…the ladies you flirt with will not be on the “hot seat”. Instead, the ladies you DON’T will need in.
Again, a caveat: We’re not essentially speaking about fairly as overt an strategy as Broadway Joe’s instance. All you do right here is solely start conversations and work together in a enjoyable manner.
And I’m not an unreasonable man. I am unable to count on you to “flip a switch” and make this way of life change in a single day.
But I’m going to problem you to stretch past your consolation zone the subsequent time you might be in a social state of affairs the place you have got the potential to satisfy new ladies, and really feel FREE to work together with any and even all of them-now realizing that the MORE ladies you get pleasure from interacting, the LESS you telegraph “pre-qualification” to any one in all them.
Try it…and be amazed.
And my guess is that you just probably not going to need to cease there.