It’s true that girls like confident ‘alpha’ men, the type that everyone notices when they walk into a room. Heck, even guys want to hang out with them. But there’s often something endearing and mysterious about the shy guy.
The problem with shy guys is that they usually don’t show their feelings, which can make it hard to tell if they like you. And that’s a shame, because shy guys can be really sexy for the same reasons guys like shy girls . But knowing if a shy guy likes you is often difficult.
Shy guys often don’t make the first move, which makes you think they’re just ‘not that into you’. Sometimes, if a guy doesn’t call you, it may be that he’s not into you. But a shy guy may really like you a lot. You just need to know it the signs that a shy guy likes you, even if he’s just too scared to make a bold move.
Here are some insights into why shy guys are the way they are:
1. They set the stakes too high
Sometimes shy guys can talk to you at first, but as soon as they think this relationship could go somewhere, they freeze up. They feel pressured to meet or fulfill certain standards. They then feel too afraid to be themselves.
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2. You wait too long
When it comes to making a move, such as a first kiss, shy men often overthink things instead of just reacting to them. For example, you may have just watched a rom-com movie together. Now it’s over and the credits are rolling. The two of you look at each other the moment is perfect. But he doesn’t act on it. Seconds pass. The longer time passes, the more uncomfortable he feels. The kiss never takes place.
3. You have low self-esteem
Shy men are unaware of the more confident macho men who have no problem attracting women. They compare themselves to these guys and feel that they can never be that, so they berate themselves and think that they are losers or that no girl will ever like them. This can be due to emotional abuse. This post offers signs of abuse.
Although you know this is not the case, you may be able to help. Sometimes your confidence can wane. Read more about it here.
4. They prefer to wait for someone to come to them
You’ve probably seen guys in a club or bar just standing around waiting for someone to come over. These guys are probably shy, don’t know how to approach someone, and don’t have a plan. They are hoping for the perfect woman so they don’t have to do anything.
5. They jump ahead
When a shy man has a conversation with a girl he likes, it may not occur to him to take things slowly to see where things lead. He might imagine that this first encounter will develop into “the one.” This makes shy guys all the more nervous about not blowing what they think is their only chance at love.
Advantages of Shy Guys
It’s time to put these shy guys out of their misery by giving them a chance. There are many advantages to dating a shy guy:
1. They are generally nice
Shy boys understand what it’s like to feel left out, to not be noticed. So they develop a compassion for others, which usually makes them nice guys. A shy guy is the guy who is nice to your cat and engages your grandmother in conversation.
2. They have interests
When people don’t find it easy to develop things, they generally develop interests. And that makes them interesting people. Maybe they like astronomy, or playing the drums, or working on the next great novel.
3. They want to please you
And yes, we mean in the bedroom. Shy guys take care of you and make you happy. This usually means that you are good in bed.
How to know if a shy guy likes you
Now you want to get to know that shy guy, but how can you tell if he’s into you? Here are some ways you can tell if a shy guy likes you:
1. You make him laugh
One sign that a shy guy likes you is if you can make him laugh easily. If he laughs easily, he probably likes you. If he doesn’t laugh, he might not be shy. He just might not be interested in you. You don’t even have to be particularly funny. If he likes you, he’ll find a reason to laugh good-naturedly at what you say to connect. On the other hand, if you say something really funny and he doesn’t laugh or even smile, forget about him. He’s probably not interested.
2. He looks at you a lot
A shy guy probably won’t pursue you the way a confident and outgoing guy will. Instead, he looks at you and wonders how he can ever get the opportunity to talk to you. It can be confusing when a guy looks at you but then never pursues you, but when you realize that he is shy and that this is a sign that a shy guy likes you, you will understand and have something to work with.
The usual flirting style you use with confident guys just doesn’t work with shy guys. The way you look at confident guys and flirt with them and then expect them to move towards you will not work with shy guys. So try not to get games hard . There are ways to break the ice, which we’ll get to later.
3. He sits near you
If a man likes you but doesn’t know how to ask you, for example, he sits next to you in class or in a lecture. This way he doesn’t have to talk to you, but since the two of you are next to each other, he is probably hoping that a conversation might just happen.
4. He becomes uncomfortable around you
Shy men are usually nervous and awkward around women. Although asking a woman out or entering that first kiss makes many men nervous, this feeling is amplified in shy men. Shy guys can be so nervous that they can’t do anything. They might act anxious or awkward around you because they really want to make a good impression, but can’t shake the nervousness they feel.
When shy people have the courage to talk to you, they often say something strange or act strangely. They then feel as if they have totally blown it with you. They may now stay away from you to cover what they just did. You can help by avoiding awkward questions and situations.
How to approach a shy guy
Now that you know how to tell if a shy guy likes you, how can you let him know you like him too without scaring him off?
1. You are the icebreaker
Go up to a man who has been looking at you and break the ice. Walk up to him with a warm smile. Make sure your body language is welcoming with uncrossed arms. You may even touch him on the arm.
Make some sort of idle chit-chat with him. You can talk about your pet if you happen to see one nearby, something funny a friend or family member said or did, or what you did today. It doesn’t matter what you say. He’s probably too nervous to notice, and he’s probably relieved that you made the first move.
He should be able to open up to you after a while and have a conversation. When he warms up and starts talking, give him your full attention. He is already not sure if you are interested. If you look around the room or check your phone, it’s over. Make eye contact and encourage him to talk more. Read more Here .
2. Take the lead
Even if you are dating a shy man, you may need to take the lead on certain firsts, such as a first date or a first kiss. If you can tell from the signs that he likes you, ask if he wants to hang out if he doesn’t ask you. For women, this is no longer strange match the first step.
The movies make a good choice. This takes the focus off of him. After you make a few dates, he should be able to have dinner conversations.
When it’s time for the first kiss, if you can tell he wants to (and so can you) but he keeps hesitating, you are the one to initiate it. Once he feels secure in the relationship, you don’t always have to be the one to initiate things. You may just need to be the one to get the ball rolling.
3. Ignore his awkwardness
If the shy guy you like is acting very awkward and nervous around you, just ignore it. Keep a conversation going. He should eventually get over his nerves and act more normal.
4. Try not to draw attention to the fact that you are more experienced
If you have more experience with dating than him, it is better if you do not draw attention to the fact by talking about your ex-boyfriends. This will only make him more insecure. He will wonder if he can keep up with a kiss as well. And if he’s insecure about a kiss, he’ll be insecure about other things too. And you don’t want that to happen. Read more about sexual anxiety in this post .
When you start dating him, you can talk about your exes and your sexual experiences if you want after he is confident in that arena.
It’s not that difficult to get together with a shy man, once you know how to do it and how to tell if a shy man likes you. It just takes a little patience to discover the real you and his feelings.
An added bonus for shy guys is that they probably won’t talk and flirt – try some of them Flirt Tips – With many women when you’re both together. It’s just not in their nature. Once a shy man commits to you, he will likely be trustworthy and loyal.