How to find the perfect woman? I was recently asked by an exasperated friend what my ‘type’ was. She was eager to match me up with some of the single women she knew, and it immediately – worryingly – got me thinking. I began to wonder: was it this focus on certain attributes and aesthetics that kept me, and perhaps many others, from accepting deviations from a list or formula that had helped us find The One? Or simply put, did being unnecessarily picky thwart me?
I began to look back at my dating history, at the women I had been with, and whether any of them had any particular similarities. The answer was actually ‘no.’ But I could easily list the anatomical preferences and personality traits that I thought were compatible or even desirable.
In my search for the perfect woman, I had dated people who I assumed fulfilled this “dream girl” ideology. On paper, some would check every box. It was almost like the occasional girlfriend being lifted off the cover of a magazine. The kids from Strange science could not have created better blueprints. However, it turned out that the girls I assumed were what I wanted just didn’t make me happy. The search for The Perfect 10 does not work for me.
It seems to me that we often look to others – from those we see on the screen to those we have around us – as simple tools to visualize our perfect woman. We even unconsciously hone the search by noticing who our friends think is desirable. We manage to trick ourselves into thinking that the socially acceptable fantasies we conjure up are what we really desire.
In looking for someone, I now believe that a truly open mind is required. I am trying to embrace the unknown, the excitement of the unknown, and learn what it is about an individual that makes them so special.
Re-evaluating and appreciating so-called flaws and tiny imperfections is crucial. I’m not trying to be preachy (apologies if I fail), but isn’t it possible that you may actually find what you’re looking for if you allow yourself to walk down unknown paths? It’s entirely possible that the ones we might love the most are the ones we don’t expect.
No expectations or preconceptions about how someone should be Its and rethinking what I want could perhaps yield the best return. I leave my old search methods Perfection behind. It obviously didn’t work. I now look to the future with wide eyes.
If you know a woman who looks like Kate Upton, crazy like Zooey Deschannel, as comfortable in herself as Lena Dunham, and as kind and strong-willed as Mother Teresa, while you can shake her like Beyonce, Please, send her my way. It’s impossible to really shake this wish list.