Since you met at the coffee shop. Or both attended a mutual friend’s birthday party. Or sat next to him in the chemistry lab.

Maybe he has no idea you exist. Maybe he’s sending confusing signals and you can’t tell if he’s interested or not. Or maybe he sees you as a friend and nothing more. Either way, it doesn’t feel like a good place to be. Having unrequited feelings for someone who doesn’t return them isn’t anyone’s idea of a good time.

What if we told you it was possible for your crush to like you? It is. Just because he hasn’t seen you that way until now doesn’t mean he never will. It’s just a matter of playing your cards right. Of course, it’s possible that the objects of your affection will never like you. That happens and it’s sad and you’ll get over it and move on. But there is a chance that this is not the case. So why not take a shot?

If you’re wondering how to get your crush to like you, wonder no more. Here’s a top-notch tutorial full of tips and tricks you can put into action right now. The truth is that the old adage of being yourself is really the best way to find love, but there’s no reason why you can’t give love a little push in the right direction. Without further ado, here are some great dos ( and not ) to help you get your crush to like you….

1. Stay cool, mo.

If you want your crush to like you, you need to give them the opportunity to get to know you in a low pressure situation. Whether you’re going to school together, taking a coffee break at work, or just hanging out next to each other at mutual friends’ parties, there doesn’t have to be any strings attached, or most guys will be too worried to do anything about it.

You see, hanging out together is a great way to build intimacy, trust and attraction, the basic ingredients of a good relationship. However, if you’re not careful, this is also a great way to prove how clingy you are. Don’t go down this road guys don’t like clingy women.

Use your hangouts as opportunities to talk, laugh, and be casual about things of mutual interest. You should never overstep your welcome, but you should not be submissive either. While it may not always seem possible when you are in the presence of your swarm, just be yourself and have fun.

2. Ask for him

If you want your crush to like you, he needs to feel that you are not in it just for you. To do this, ask about his likes and dislikes, goals and dreams, and his life. Guys like to talk about themselves as much as girls do (sometimes more) and this is one of the surest ways to get a guy to open up to you. Check out these questions to get to know him.

3. Find common interests

At the top of the list of ways to get your crush to like you is to prove that you have mutual interests. If you’ve met up with something you both love (for example, in a class for the major you share or on a runway night in the 80s), chances are you already have something in common. If not, however, it’s not hard to forge mutual interests that will keep you together. Invite him to play Frisbee golf at the park, take a hike up nearby Butte, or attend a free art class at the community center.

Caveat: Do a little research and make sure he’s interested in these things before you suggest them. Once you’re dating, he’ll probably do things you like, but right now you shouldn’t assume he will. Suggesting something he’s not interested in is a good way to get rejected, which you probably don’t need, right?

4. Dress to impress

If you want your crush to like you, you gotta give a shit. Don’t put on your schlubbiest clothes for a study date (try these closet tips, instead); actually wear something nice. Also, avoid getting together after a workout or taking a coffee break together when you’re sick. If possible, keep yourself physically in your best light. Whatever your mom told you looks important. Take pride in your appearance and you’ll have a better chance of him noticing you.

5. Flirt

Okay, this is one of the more basic ways to get your crush to like you, but it’s surprising how many girls try to avoid it. While you don’t want to flirt outrageously if you have no idea of his feelings, a little flirting can give him the heads up he needs to take action. Be subtle, lean in a little when he tells a joke, hold his gaze longer than a friend’s, and generally keep your interest focused on him. Don’t be overwhelming, but make it clear.

Looking for flirting tips? We have them in this post !

6. Touch him

If you get a good reception from flirting – he flirts back, you laugh a lot, he looks at you often – then you can take things to a higher level. Don’t throw yourself at him, try to sit on his lap, or generally act like you’re already in a relationship. Most likely, this will backfire.

If you’re wondering how to get your crush to like you, try some light touching instead. Put your hand on his arm while you look through the microscope in the lab. push him playfully while you walk down the street; pull him onto the dance floor at a party. If he’s not into it, you can always step right back. Nothing dared, however, nothing won.

7. Build sexual tension

Are you still getting good responses from the tricks above? Now it’s time to turn up the heat so your crush likes you. Studies show that sexual intimacy actually helps people fall in love (which is why you shouldn’t sleep with someone who has made it clear they’re not into you). If you can build sexual tension With your crush, you can probably get him to like you.

Try upping the ante, holding his gaze for a longer period of time, or biting your lip when you look at him. Lean over him, brush past him, put your hand on his hip or chest and see what he does. If he doesn’t stop you, you’ll probably get through to him and he’ll like it.

When it comes to swarming and getting them to like you, there are of course some prohibitions. Below, we’ll talk about some of the most common mistakes women make when pursuing the objects of their desire and how to avoid them.

8. Do not let shyness turn you off

If you want your crush to like you, you can’t keep him in the dark. Some men are shy, just like some girls, and want a little assurance before committing. So while you shouldn’t throw yourself at him or get down on one knee, you should make it clear that you like him, and you shouldn’t give up immediately if he’s shy. Beware, however, of the difference between shyness and brusqueness: usually the latter means he’s just not into it.

9. Don’t be afraid to say something

The surest way to miss an opportunity? Don’t mention that you are interested. As with the suggestion above, make sure he knows you are interested. This can be as simple as telling him you want to go to a party or asking him if he has a girlfriend. Don’t declare undying love when a few subtle hints will do.

We have advice to be safe when talking to your crush.

10. Don’t tell him ‘how you feel’.

This, my friends, is a massive Hail Mary. If you do it, you might win your knight in shining armor, oh, about one in a hundred times. If he’s desperately shy and can’t do anything until he’s sure, this might work. In most cases, however, guys want to take things slow, test the waters a bit, and come to conclusions on their own. As above, the declaration of undying love is more of a miss than a hit.

11. Don’t go ahead of yourself

Sure, you want to get your crush to like you, and you want to find evidence that your attempts are working. But if they’re not, they’re not. Don’t turn an accidental hand brush into a proposal. Don’t let an invitation to learn together turn into your wildest fantasy. Don’t let the way he looks at you ignite his true love interest. Instead, be realistic. What would you mean as yourself if you gave these signs?

Then accept the truth: Sometimes it just doesn’t work out, at which point you must move on gracefully or risk making a fool of yourself and the object of your affection. Don’t. Remember that there are many fish in the sea (pardon the expression), and you will probably land one soon enough if you direct your attention elsewhere when it proves necessary.

In the end, you may not be able to make someone love you, but you can play the odds and try to tip them. Most people are susceptible to the charms of others who show interest in them, are genuine, like to have fun, and give off a sexy vibe if necessary. Try the tips above to see if you can increase the likelihood that your crush will like you. If so, congratulations! We’re here for you. If not, take heart in the fact that these tips work with almost everyone and one failed attempt won’t make you fated for life. Chin up and better luck next time.